22+ Funny Responses to “Are You Pregnant?” (From Polite to Blunt)

Whether you are pregnant or not, being asked if you’re pregnant rarely feels good, does it?

If you’re not pregnant, it can be quite offensive and insulting. If you are pregnant, you know you’re pregnant and you don’t need people asking you or reminding you every day.

It’s up to you how you choose to answer this question. If you want to avoid upsetting someone, however, it’s best to bite your lip if you’re getting frustrated.

Instead, responding with a funny or sarcastic remark is the best way to get the point across that you don’t want to talk about it – without offending anyone (hopefully).

To help you arm yourself with some funny responses to “are you pregnant?” here are some of the things you can say:

Funny Responses to “Are You Pregnant?”

  • I’m not sure, but thanks for asking, I’ll take a test and find out for you.
  • Well, now you mention it, I think I might be actually.
  • Nope, I just ate a watermelon earlier.
  • Yes, thanks. How far along are you? (works well if an overweight man asked you).
  • You must be a detective, you have some great observation skills.
  • I’m pretty sure it’s just gas.
  • You’re not the only person to ask me that today, you know.
  • It’s lucky I’m not sensitive about my weight or I’d be offended.
  • Do you ask that of every fat woman you come across?
  • Are you insinuating that I’m getting big or that the baby is getting big?
  • Will it make you feel better if I say ‘yes’?
  • What is the funniest thing you’ve heard when asking random women that question?
  • You’re not great at judging these sorts of things, are you?
  • Are you going to offer some advice and tips if I say yes?
  • If you first answer if I can put you down for babysitting duties?

RelatedHuge list of witty and funny comebacks to rude pregnancy comments!

Blunt Responses to Stop Someone Asking if You’re Pregnant

If being asked if you’re pregnant or when you’re going to have kids is really getting on your nerves, you could try these blunt responses:

  • I have no idea, and if I did I probably wouldn’t be announcing it to you first.
  • It’s really none of your business and I could do without you asking that, thanks.
  • Why are you asking? Doesn’t seem like something that should concern you.
  • Not last time I checked, no, I’ll be sure to let you know if that changes.
  • Do you enjoy asking people personal questions?
  • Are you trying to suggest that I’ve put on weight?
  • Can I get back to you on that? How soon do you need an answer?
  • If I hear that question one more time….

Some Tips for Dealing With Unwanted Questions

Having a funny or quick-witted response ready is great and it’s going to help a lot, but I thought I’d share some additional tips to help you deal with unwanted questions in general.

Some of the best tried and tested ways to deal with unwanted questions without making the situation any more awkward than it needs to be are:

Having an answer ready – This is what we’ve covered in this post. Being able to fire off an answer helps avoid awkward stuttering, pausing, and anxiety.

If you’re opting to use humor, that’s great. Humor is one of the best ways to divert attention away from you, just make sure it’s appropriate for the person you’re speaking to.

Change the subject – If you don’t want to answer a question but you don’t want to come across as rude, simply change the subject with your reply.

You can either be completely obvious about doing this if you think the person needs a strong hint, or you can do it subtly.

Be direct about your feelings – No matter who is asking you a question; friends, family members, etc. you have the right to tell them you don’t want to answer.

Too many people feel obliged to answer personal questions – but you should never feel like this.

If you don’t want to answer a question, telling the person asking the question by saying something like “I really don’t feel comfortable answering that” is perfectly fine.

Be ambiguous with your answer – If you find it hard to be direct or tell someone you don’t want to answer them, you can always try and be ambiguous with your answer.

This isn’t always easy to do, and it will cause some curious people to ask even more questions and probe even deeper.

But it’s the right thing to do in some situations. It’s a great way to avoid telling a lie or not answering at all.

Stall on them – some questions you want to hear, but they’ve just come a little bit too soon.

Like when you’re asked if you’re pregnant, you may want to tell the person, and lying about it will cause a problem – but you want to tell other people first.

In this case, you need to prepare a way to stall answering. Just simply saying, “I’m actually waiting on the results/test” might do the trick.

Related Some awesome comebacks to use with bullies.

Wrapping Up

I hope you found some of these funny responses to ” are you pregnant?” useful. Or at the very least amusing.

I know what it feels like to be constantly asked questions that I don’t want to keep answering, so I sympathize with you.

There are loads of ways you can answer, redirect, and deal with these questions without getting annoyed or offending the curious person asking the questions though.

The key is being prepared – I wish you good luck!


Image credits – Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

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