24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies That’ll Make You Smile

Clean Comebacks for Bullies

Looking for some clean comebacks for bullies who think it’s fun to throw comments, insults, or annoying remarks your way?

I’ve got you covered.

First of all, I do have to say a few things on the topic of bullying:

Bullying is not cool (that’s an understatement). If you’re being bullied worse than just some annoying comments here and there, you need to do something about it.

I’m not talking about fighting fire with fire, either. If it’s in the workplace, school, or some other environment with rules – report the bully to get their actions on record.

At the same time, there’s a time and a place for a comeback that will put the bully on the back foot, embarrass them, and make them think twice in future about trying to roast you in the future.

Here are some powerful comebacks to arm yourself with:

Some Witty Clean Comebacks for Bullies

  • Have we met before?
  • That’s strange, I don’t remember asking for your opinion.
  • I’ve already forgotten what you said, but I bet it pointless anyway.
  • I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I guess it’s true what everyone says about you.
  • What went wrong in your life to make you the way you are?
  • Well, that was a waste of both of our time.
  • Do you ever have anything nice to say, or was that the best it gets?
  • That isn’t even worth a comeback, I’ll just let you dwell on that failure
  • Does sounding stupid ever get old?
  • Just when I thought you were going to say something sensible….that happened.
  • I would frown if that small bit of energy was worth wasting on you.
  • What was that? I missed it. (then ask them to repeat it again, and again…)
  • I can’t even reply, I don’t talk the language of stupid.
  • Is this the result of being unloved all your life?
  • I bet even your family don’t pretend to like you, do they?
  • I’ve seen the future, and spoiler alert, you’re still a failure.
  • Did that make you feel good? Awesome, glad to be of service, you can thank me later.
  • We’re all entitled to make mistakes now and again, but with you, it’s every time I see you.
  • Can I help you? I’m not going to, but I’m going to humor you by asking.
  • I’m not even sure if you’re trying to insult me or confuse me.
  • There are medications to help manage what you have, I’d see a doctor if I were you.
  • I hear bullies are insecure about themselves, is that true?
  • Have you tried being nice to people? You might make some friends.
  • Is that your awkward way of trying to make friends with me? No thanks.
  • I wrote down all the languages I speak, but last time I checked stupid wasn’t on my list!

Related – Check out these comebacks for jerks!

How Do You Respond to Bullies Making Mean Comments?

The best part about a good witty comeback is that you don’t have to be mean or aggressive to get a one-up on a bully.

Sure, there is a passive-aggressive undertone. But on the surface, you’re just giving a smart reply that makes them look, and possibly feel stupid.

And, let’s be honest here, most bullies aren’t the smartest people. That’s why they like to try and make other people feel bad, to cover their own insecurities and mask their own feelings.

How have you responded to bullies in the past? Do you have any funny, witty, or smart comebacks to share with the rest of the community?

If so, I’d love to hear them. Just drop a comment below, thanks.


Image credits – Header image by Hannah Olinger on Unsplash

38 thoughts on “24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies That’ll Make You Smile”

  1. Mega Rayquaza

    can u add these 1.”underneath all that male bravado there us just a insecure little girl just banging on the door trying to get out. and 2. “like all bullies (insert name here)’s brain is underdeveloped, therefore he has a innate lack of self control causing him to lash-out

  2. Song not exactly a comeback, but wanted to share. Wait, I have a gift for you. (Pretend to pull something of your pocket of bag. Then pull out your hand with that middle finger up)

  3. I Am In School Right Now And I Have A Bully Who ALWAYS Does This, So I’m Gonna Share A Comeback I Use Almost Always : “Wait, I Don’t Remember Asking *Insert Teacher Name Here* For A Glass Of Your Opinion.”

  4. Okay, okay, I know this is honestly kinda weird to say back but this one is for fellow quiet kids. If a bully insults you and even adds the word ‘Quiet kid’ try using this : “At least I know how to do something you can’t, and it’s being quiet.”

  5. I’ve always been good at comebacks, but these are perfect to use. Definitely will use them against those dumb meanies at my school- thanks!

  6. I have a good comeback: Oh, I have a question- when did I ask and then pretend to pull something out of bag and put middle finger up!!!!

  7. I don’t use comebacks from the internet I just like to see what the websites say and I would rate this a 8.5 out of 10 🙂

  8. this girl i thought she was my best friend but ima bout ready to drop her becasue she smacks me and hits me in the the face so she can impress her “boyfriend” and does it to try and impressing her other friends to.

  9. You should add, “I didn’t remember asking for your opinion. Did you have enough brain cells to process what I just said?”

  10. One of the girls at school (when we were changing for PE) said to me that my headphones look like something out of a toddler show and Niki (my friend) next to me laughed cos it was unexpected and stupid. The girl who said the comment said ‘see, i even made Niki laugh, so it mustve been good. I replied coolly ‘and im sure that if i dropped my shoe on your foot, she would laugh at that too.’ That shut her up! Then we just walked out of the room chatting!

  11. Bully:~they shame you for what you smell like~
    Me:AH yes its the aroma of originality! you don’t have it, that’s sad…(use sarcasm! it helps~)

  12. wow these are good i had an argument with this kid in school and she was like trying to have a go at me so like used these and now she’s stopped thanks

  13. i have these girls that think they are so cool and keep using mean things and i use comebacks that i know from TikTok and they make fun of me for it. so i will use these. they will never know. thanks <3

  14. Thank you I am ten and a grup of girls are messing with me and they will back of wen I say these thangs to them lol

  15. There’s a bully in my school just like most of you who throws me around but today i stood up for myself and tomorrow I’ll definitely need these so thank you soooooooooooo much.

  16. For the bullies that get in your personal space

    “ewwww I don’t know what stinks more, your breath or your life choices”

    Credit to Harry, aged 11 👊

  17. these are so good my bully was so confused because I never had good comebacks I was so happy she was going to cry but she stopped her tiers in her tracks

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