24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies That’ll Make You Smile

Looking for some clean comebacks for bullies who think it’s fun to throw comments, insults, or annoying remarks your way?

I’ve got you covered.

First of all, I do have to say a few things on the topic of bullying:

Bullying is not cool (that’s an understatement). If you’re being bullied worse than just some annoying comments here and there, you need to do something about it.

I’m not talking about fighting fire with fire, either. If it’s in the workplace, school, or some other environment with rules – report the bully to get their actions on record.

At the same time, there’s a time and a place for a comeback that will put the bully on the back foot, embarrass them, and make them think twice in future about trying to roast you in the future.

Here are some powerful comebacks to arm yourself with:

Some Witty Clean Comebacks for Bullies

• Have we met before?
• That’s strange, I don’t remember asking for your opinion.
• I’ve already forgotten what you said, but I bet it pointless anyway.
• I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I guess it’s true what everyone says about you.
• What went wrong in your life to make you the way you are?
• Well, that was a waste of both of our time.
• Do you ever have anything nice to say, or was that the best it gets?
• That isn’t even worth a comeback, I’ll just let you dwell on that failure
• Does sounding stupid ever get old?
• Just when I thought you were going to say something sensible….that happened.
• I would frown if that small bit of energy was worth wasting on you.
• What was that? I missed it. (then ask them to repeat it again, and again…)
• I can’t even reply, I don’t talk the language of stupid.
• Is this the result of being unloved all your life?
• I bet even your family don’t pretend to like you, do they?
• I’ve seen the future, and spoiler alert, you’re still a failure.
• Did that make you feel good? Awesome, glad to be of service, you can thank me later.
• We’re all entitled to make mistakes now and again, but with you, it’s every time I see you.
• Can I help you? I’m not going to, but I’m going to humor you by asking.
• I’m not even sure if you’re trying to insult me or confuse me.
• There are medications to help manage what you have, I’d see a doctor if I were you.
• I hear bullies are insecure about themselves, is that true?
• Have you tried being nice to people? You might make some friends.
• Is that your awkward way of trying to make friends with me? No thanks.
• I wrote down all the languages I speak, but last time I checked stupid wasn’t on my list!

Related – Check out these comebacks for jerks!

How Do You Respond to Bullies Making Mean Comments?

The best part about a good witty comeback is that you don’t have to be mean or aggressive to get a one-up on a bully.

Sure, there is a passive-aggressive undertone. But on the surface, you’re just giving a smart reply that makes them look, and possibly feel stupid.

And, let’s be honest here, most bullies aren’t the smartest people. That’s why they like to try and make other people feel bad, to cover their own insecurities and mask their own feelings.

How have you responded to bullies in the past? Do you have any funny, witty, or smart comebacks to share with the rest of the community?

If so, I’d love to hear them. Just drop a comment below, thanks.

Resources

Image credits – Header image by Hannah Olinger on Unsplash