Do you feel uncomfortable around your boyfriend? Is there always a general sense of uneasy, or awkwardness when you see him?
Maybe he feels it too, maybe he doesn’t. Either way, you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable around him – you should be comforted, safe, happy, and maybe a little giddy!
So, if you do feel awkward or uncomfortable, it’s important you get to the bottom of why and do something about it.
To help you out, here are some of the most common reasons people have that uncomfortable feeling around their boyfriends, husbands, and partners. See if any apply to you:
You Find It Difficult to Talk to Them
Good communication is the key to any relationship working out. If you don’t feel like you can talk to your boyfriend about everything and anything, you’re going to have an uncomfortable feeling about it.
This is especially true if you have something you really want to talk to them about. That ‘something’ is going to keep bothering you until you’re able to get it off your chest.
For the good of the relationship, it’s essential you develop good communication with your partner – and that uncomfortable feeling should go away.
You’re Hiding Something
Keeping a secret or hiding something important from your boyfriend is going to cause you a lot of problems in the long run.
Studies have shown that keeping secrets can cause anything from an uncomfortable feeling to anxiety, depression, and a slow decline in physical and mental health.
If you are hiding or keeping something from your boyfriend, it’s better out than in. I know how cliche that is, but it’s true. The truth will set you free and release that uncomfortable feeling that is likely guilt.
You’re Scared of Them
You should never feel scared, intimidated, or in any form of danger from your boyfriend. No one should.
If he’s deliberately intimidating you, then you’re in a toxic relationship and you need to get out of the relationship. It’s that simple.
If you really believe it’s not intentional, but you’re still scared of him, you need to talk to him. Some guys have a bad temper, but that’s no excuse.
They should find the help they need to control their anger issues and create a safe and comfortable environment for both of you.
You Don’t Trust Them
Do you find it hard to trust your boyfriend? Maybe you have good reason to as he’s cheated before, or maybe it’s due to your insecurities from past experiences.
Either way, if you can’t trust them, you’re not going to feel comfortable around them. You need to confront the reasons why you feel like this, otherwise, it’s only going to get worse and eat you up over time.
Think about it like this, what good does it do doubting them? Nothing, right. Do whatever it takes to build on the level of trust in your relationship.
They Do Things That Bother You
We all have those little pet peeves or get wound up by annoying little things our partners do, it’s how we deal with them that determines how much it bothers us.
If you’ve gotten to the point where loads of things your boyfriend does bother you and it’s making you uncomfortable around him, you’re at a crossroads.
You either need to address those issues and work it out with him, or consider walking away. You can’t go on feeling uncomfortable around him, that feeling is only going to get worse over time.
You Don’t Have Feelings for Them Any Longer
Relationship doubts, they’re the worst. If you don’t feel the same about your boyfriend – or if you never really felt much for him – you might have a sinking feeling in your stomach when you’re around him.
That’s not to say if you were perfectly happy and in love you’d never feel uncomfortable. But it certainly can cause uncomfortable feelings if you are lacking that emotional connection.
The more he’s into you, the worse it will be. Again, that uncomfortable feeling can easily be confused with a type of guilt.
Either He, You, or Both of You Are Awkward
Awkwardness and feeling uncomfortable are two very similar things. In fact, a lot of people use these words interchangeably. So, I’d take a good look at the two of you and see if your feeling uncomfortable is dealing with awkwardness.
There’s no harm in admitting either of you are socially awkward – if that’s the case. It’s a personality quirk for most people. If it gets to the point where it’s stopping either of you from doing things, then you do need to do something about it.
You can try to take small steps towards reducing the awkwardness and becoming more comfortable. Although, you may have to accept there’s always going to be that weird, uncomfortable feeling to a certain extent.
How Do I Stop Being Uncomfortable Around My Boyfriend?
If you have a good idea of what’s causing you to feel uncomfortable, you have to confront it to be able to get past it.
It almost always comes down to good communication. Couples find it hard to talk about stuff openly, especially things that are, well, awkward.
Don’t feel bad, you’re certainly not alone. You have to find a way to talk about it though, otherwise, you risk that uncomfortable feeling turning into something bigger.
He’ll respect you for being upfront and talking about something making you feel this way. If he doesn’t, then he’s the one with issues.
The bottom line is this; if you care about your boyfriend and value your relationship, don’t let something cause these feelings to get in the way of you two furthering your relationship.
I hope this article helped shed some light on what the underlying issues may be. Good luck, and I wish you all the best!
Image credits – Photos by Cody Black and Mitchell Hartley on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.