Do you suspect two of your coworkers of having an emotional affair in the workplace?
Maybe it’s you, and you’re concerned that you’ve crossed the line from being a good friend to having an emotional affair with someone at work?
Either way, here are 13 signs of emotional affairs at work to look out for that may help confirm your suspicions:
13 Signs of Emotional Affairs at Work
1. They Are Spending a Lot of Time Together
If you notice that two coworkers are spending an excessive amount of time together, it could be a sign that they are having an emotional affair.
This is especially true if they’re spending more time together than they need to for work-related tasks.
Of course, it may be perfectly innocent, but it’s something to take into account with other signs on this list.
2. They Whisper When They’re Together
If you see the two people in question whispering to each other when they’re together, it’s another sign that something more than just a work friendship might be going on.
This is because they are trying to keep their conversations private from others so that nobody will know what they’re talking about.
Related – Blatant signs coworkers have slept together or are crushing on each other!
3. They Volunteer to Work Overtime Together
If two coworkers are always volunteering to work overtime together, it could be a sign that they’re trying to get more time alone together.
This is especially true if they’re the only ones who volunteer for overtime shifts or if they always seem to end up working the same shift together.
Of course, this could also just mean that they’re good friends who enjoy working together – but it’s a bit of a coincidence, isn’t it?
4. They Are Texting Each Other in and Out of Work
If you see two coworkers texting each other constantly, both in and out of work hours, it’s a pretty good sign that they’re having an emotional affair.
This is because they’re trying to stay in constant contact with each other and are sharing things that they wouldn’t want others to know about.
Especially if they’re in earshot of one another, why would they need to text, right?
5. They Stop Talking and Look Startled When People Approach Them
If two people suddenly stop talking and look startled when somebody approaches them, it’s a sign that they were talking about something they didn’t want others to know.
This is because they don’t want to be caught talking about whatever it is they were discussing, which almost certainly means it was personal.
6. They Take Lunch Breaks Together
Ah, the old taking lunch breaks together trick. It’s one of the first signs of an office romance or affair of some kind as it provides some quality alone time.
If you see two coworkers taking their lunch breaks together on a regular basis, it’s a sign that they’re very close with one another, if nothing else.
7. They Arrive at Work And/Or Leave at the Same Time
If two coworkers are always arriving at work and/or leaving at the same time, it’s a sign that they’re meeting up outside of work.
Either that, or it’s just another one of those crazy coincidences that seem to defy the law of probability!
If you already suspect they’re closer than just work colleagues, this pretty much seals it.
Related – Here is why emotional affairs hurt so much and are hard to get past.
8. Their Body Language Gives It Away
Sometimes body language gives away a lot more than people realize, and you can learn a lot about how close people are by observing them.
If you see two people stand close to each other, touch each other often, or mirror each other’s body language, it’s a sign that they’re attracted to one another or emotionally close.
This is because we tend to do these things when we’re attracted to somebody, even if we don’t realize it!
9. They Look at Each Other a Lot
This one is pretty self-explanatory – if you see two people looking at each other a lot, it’s a sign that they’re attracted to or interested in each other.
It could be that they’re just good friends, but it’s worth taking into account with the other signs on this list.
10. They Know a Lot About Each Other’s Personal Lives
If two coworkers seem to know a lot about each other’s personal lives, it’s a sign that they’re sharing information that they wouldn’t share with just anybody.
This means that they trust each other enough to confide in one another, which is definitely not something that happens between just casual acquaintances.
The backbone of an emotional affair is that two people share their emotions, personal information, and talk to one another on a level they don’t feel comfortable doing with others – even their own partners.
11. They Are Quick to Defend Each Other
If you see two coworkers getting into arguments with other people and they are quick to defend each other, it’s a sign that they have each other’s backs.
This is because we usually only jump to the defense of somebody we care about – whether that be emotionally or romantically.
You’re right to question their motivations when sticking up for one another, especially over trivial things.
12. They Don’t Deny the Rumors
If two coworkers are the subject of gossip and they don’t deny the rumors, it’s a sign that there might be some truth to them.
Of course, this isn’t always the case as sometimes people just like to gossip for the sake of it.
However, if you see that they’re not denying the rumors and people seem to think there’s something going on between them, there is likely some truth to the rumors.
13. It’s Just Obvious
Sometimes, you just know. If you have a gut feeling that something is going on between two coworkers, it’s probably because it is!
If you can’t put your finger on why you feel that way, trust your instincts and pay attention to the other signs on this list.
Chances are, if you’re picking up on some weird vibes, there’s a reason for it!
What you do with this information is up to you. However, tread very carefully if you’re thinking about saying something.
Emotional affairs are incredibly damaging to relationships and it might not be your place to be the bearer of bad news!
Image credits – Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.