In this article, I’m looking at some of the more obvious signs he doesn’t want to move in with you.
Moving in with a partner is a huge step in your relationship, it demonstrates that you both see a long-term future with each other.
It’s also going to be a little stressful, there are financial implications, you’re going to figure out each other’s habits, good and bad, and loads more.
Living under the same roof as someone is literally make or break for most couples.
I’m not trying to put you off. But, I will say it’s very important that you’re both 100% ready and committed to moving in together if you want it to work out.
This is why it’s important to read between the lines and figure out if your partner wants to move in with you. If he doesn’t, it’s important you figure out why – before it’s too late.
With that said, here are 8 of the most common reasons why guys don’t want to move in with their partners:
8 Signs He Doesn’t Want to Move in With You
He Won’t Talk About Moving in Together
Have you tried bringing up the topic of moving in together, only to be ignored, have the conversation changed, or be palmed off with some flimsy excuse?
It’s time to read between the lines. If he was interested, he’d talk about it. Even if he was a little unsure, he’d have questions or want to explore it a bit.
If he won’t talk about moving in at all – it’s a sign that he’s got no intention of doing so. It could be worse, he could lead you along and have no intention all along, right?
He Talks About It but Never Commits to Anything
Leading on from what I just said, if a guy does talk about it a lot but never commits to anything then he’s leading you along.
Moving in together is a huge commitment. It’s a little scary for some, I get that. But your partner should be putting some certainty in place that he wants to move in with you at some point.
I guess it comes down to how long you’ve been talking about it and how easy it is for him to say yes. But still, there’s a point where you’ll realize he’s just talking the talk and has no intention of walking the walk.
He’s Living at Home and Way Too Comfortable
Dating a mommy’s boy comes with a number of problems. Not least, the fact that their life at home is so easy they’re hesitant to do something for themselves.
Worse still, when a lot of spoiled mommy’s boys do move out, they expect to be waited on by their partners – you. This is something you need to take a hard look at, and make sure you don’t end up filling the role of their mom if you do move in together.
They’re going to need a wake-up call at some point. If this is the only thing holding them back, you’re going to need to get their mom on your side!
He’s Told You He Doesn’t Want to Settle Down
If he’s told you outright that he doesn’t want to settle down, moving in with a bad idea even if you could bend his arm.
A lot of guys find the whole settling down and relationship thing hard to talk about. Look for the signs that he’s not serious about you. You’re going to avoid a whole lot of heartache if you can talk openly about your feelings now.
He Criticize Friends That Have Moved in Together
If your partner criticizes, makes jokes, or talks about how it’s a bad idea for friends to move in together – he’s probably hinting that it’s also a bad idea for you guys to move in together.
He may or may not realize he’s doing it. It might be a deliberate ploy by him to make it clear he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. I mean, I say ‘clear’, obviously, it’s not 100% clear.
It’s not a good sign though. You’d much rather see he was envious of friends moving in together.
He Doesn’t Include You in His Future Plans
There are few larger and more serious future commitments than moving in with a partner. If your man still can’t bear to include you in simpler plans, like hanging out or going on holiday, they aren’t going to commit to moving in.
If your partner doesn’t include you in his plans, you need to find out why. It’s often a sign that he has some insecurities or issues with the relationship.
You shouldn’t be jumping ahead to moving in until you’re 100% sure he’s committed to the relationship, as are you.
He Talks About Moving in With Friends
If you have your heart set on moving in with your boyfriend, the last thing you want to hear him talking about is moving with friends, or the ‘lads’.
This is a definite sign that he’s not ready for the kind of commitment you’re looking for. If he’s still in ‘lad’ mode, the last thing you want is him and his mates turning your place into a beer-drinking, Xbox-playing, man cave anyway.
Unfortunately, he probably has some growing up to do.
Talking about growing up and choosing friends first, if there are other signs your man is immature, moving in together is not the best decision.
I’ve said it already, and I’ll say it again. Moving in with a partner is a big deal. Not just emotionally, but financially, and you’re going to figure out a lot about each other.
Immaturity is always going to be a roadblock for a number of milestones in a relationship. It’s sad to say, but you’ll have to put moving in on hold until he grows up a little.
If you’re seeing one or more of these signs he doesn’t want to move in with you – don’t push him.
If you’re committed to the relationship, and he is, then it’s worth waiting and working out any issues. Remember, it is a big step. I’m sure you’re excited – when he is too, it’ll be perfect.
Image credits – Photos by Bench Accounting and @felipepelaquim on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.