If your husband has ruined you both financially, I know how frustrated, angry, and upset you must be feeling.
Financial problems are one of the leading causes of divorce, and the effects can be devastating and long-lasting.
If you want to stick with your husband and work things out, here are some tips on how you can help him be more financially responsible:
Get Full Transparency of Your Financial Situation
I’m not sure how involved you were before your husband created the financial issues you’re experiencing, but you need to start from a place of complete transparency.
This means getting a clear picture of all your assets and debts, what he makes and spends, and where all the money is going.
You can’t make informed decisions about your finances if you don’t know what’s going on.
Even if you didn’t want to be involved in your combined finances, you have no choice now!
Get Professional Financial Help
If you’re not sure where to start or how to help your husband become more financially responsible, seek out professional help.
There are many financial advisors and counselors who can help you develop a plan and get your husband on track.
Just be sure to choose someone who is reputable and has experience working with couples in your situation.
If you’re financially ruined, there may be some support groups or services in your area that will help you, or at least set you in the right direction.
I know it sounds a little counterintuitive to spend money on an advisor when you’re broke, but it’s going to work out more cost-effective in the long run!
Figure Out What Went Wrong
Once you have a handle on your financial situation, it’s time to sit down with your husband and figure out what went wrong.
This is an important step in moving forward because it will help you avoid making the same mistakes again.
This means understanding how things went wrong financially, as well as understanding what your husband was feeling and thinking.
If he made bad decisions, was there some pressure or other external forces that caused him to make those decisions?
Was he hiding from his financial problems for a long time before addressing them?
Financial problems aren’t just about the numbers, there are almost always underlying psychological or emotional issues that led to making bad decisions.
Restrict His Access to Your Finances if Necessary
If your husband has a history of uncontrolled spending, then you may need to restrict his access to your finances.
Taking steps like giving him cash for spending money instead of using a credit or debit card, or setting up a joint account with strict limits on what he can spend.
It may seem like you’re treating him like a child, but if he can’t control his spending, then this is a necessary step.
Safeguard Yourself From His Financial Irresponsibility
Being married is about sharing things and having joint accounts etc, but it doesn’t mean that you should suffer due to your husband’s poor decisions.
Getting burned once may have been unavoidable, but you can take steps to ensure it doesn’t happen again.
If you think it’s the best option or is the option that makes you feel most comfortable, you should separate your financial commitments.
This means putting certain bills in your name, and others in your husband’s name, as well as having separate bank accounts.
It may not be the traditional way of doing things, but it will protect you from being taken advantage of or left high and dry if your husband makes bad decisions again.
You need to think about your own credit rating, as well as your emotional and mental health!
How Do You Overcome Financial Infidelity?
If your husband has been hiding his financial problems from you, it can feel like a form of infidelity.
Finding out that your spouse has debt or has been spending money recklessly can be a big shock, and it can damage the trust in your relationship.
However, it is possible to overcome this and move forward.
The first step is to open up the lines of communication and start talking about money.
This is almost certainly going to be a difficult conversation, but it’s important to get everything out in the open.
You also need to make sure that you’re on the same page financially, and that you’re both working towards the same goals.
It’s also important to set some boundaries when it comes to money.
For example, you may want to set a limit on how much each of you can spend without consulting the other person first.
Making these changes won’t be easy, but if you’re both committed to overcoming your financial problems, then it’s definitely possible!
Image credits – Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.