I’ve been in the situation where my girlfriend wants to travel but I don’t, and I was able to find a compromise.
If you’re in the same situation and it looks like her desire to travel is going to break your relationship, don’t give up just yet!
There are some things you can do to compromise, and if the two of you love each other it’s worth trying to work through it.
Here’s my story and some tips to help you figure out if it’s right to stay together, for her to travel or not, or to travel with her:
My Girlfriend Wants to Travel But I Don’t (Things to Consider)
If your girlfriend really wants to travel but you don’t, here are some things to consider, question, and talk about to try and find a resolution:
How Long Does She Want to Travel For?
The first thing to think about is how long your girlfriend wants to travel for and what her reasons are.
Is she talking about a month-long trip? A year break? Or does she want to quit her job and move to Europe for good?
Her reasons for wanting to travel will likely fall into one of three categories: She’s curious and wants to see the world (this is usually a shorter trip).
She feels like she needs a break from her current life (this could be for a month or a year).
Or she’s not happy with her current life and wants a change (this is usually a more permanent move).
Once you know why she wants to travel and how long for, you can start to figure out how to compromise.
Related – Here is how to tell if your girlfriend is tired of you.
What Are Your Reasons for Not Traveling?
The next thing to think about is your reasons for not wanting to travel.
Do you have a good job that you don’t want to leave?
Are you comfortable at home and don’t like the idea of being away from familiar things?
Do you have responsibilities like a mortgage or car payments that make it difficult to travel?
Are you scared or just don’t like the idea of traveling?
Whatever your reasons are, don’t feel bad.
We’re all different and have different wants and needs, and sometimes those don’t align with our partners.
It just helps to have an honest discussion about your reasons for not wanting to travel so your partner understands.
Just as you understand the reasons why she wants to travel.
Can You Meet Her at Points on Her Travels?
This is how I found a compromise with my girlfriend when she had her heart set on traveling and I couldn’t due to my job and some other commitments at home.
If your girlfriend is set on traveling for an extended period of time, see if there are places she’s going to be where you can visit her.
You might have to use up some vacation days or take a long weekend, but it’ll be worth it to see her and spend some time together.
Take it from me, it’ll mean the world to her.
This demonstrates that it means a lot to you that you’re able to experience some traveling with her, and that you’re doing your best to find a workaround.
My girlfriend went traveling for six weeks throughout the summer and I met her in France in week two, and also in Switzerland in week four.
Is This Simply a Deal Breaker Because You Want Different Things?
I get it, we’re all different and sometimes people just want different things.
In some cases, traveling is important to one person in a relationship and not the other.
In cases like this, you have to accept that she might go traveling and it may mean the end of your relationship.
It doesn’t always have to mean that you split, but it’s a conversation that you need to have.
It depends on how long she wants to go traveling for and what your feelings are about it.
The traveling bug is hard to shake, too. This might not be the only time she gets the itch to go traveling, so that’s something to discuss, too.
Don’t Put Your Needs Before Hers
It’s also important to be mature about this situation and not try to put your needs ahead of your girlfriends.
I’m sure it hurts to think that you’re going to lose her, or even that she’s going to have a great time without you if you don’t go traveling.
But if it’s important to her, even if you can’t go, you need to be happy for her and do everything you can to support her.
If you’re adamant you can’t go, it’ll mean the world to your girlfriend to help her plan her trip.
You can chat about all the places she wants to go, what she wants to see and do, and help her book accommodation and figure out flights.
At the end of the day, you’re only a phone call or text away, right?
Facetime is pretty awesome, too. My girlfriend and I used Facetime a lot, and it almost felt like I was there when she was visiting the Brandenburg Gate, Cologne Cathedral, La Sagrada Famíla, and loads of other cool places.
Related – Here is how to tell if your girlfriend will miss you.
Communication and Honesty Is Everything!
The only way to find a resolution, even if that means that your girlfriend goes traveling without you and your future is uncertain, is through communicating clearly and being honest about how you feel.
You both need to be on the same page about your relationship and where it’s going, so you can make an informed decision together.
You also both have to encourage each other to follow your dreams and do what makes you both happy.
If you’re not, it can only lead to more pain down the road.
Good luck, I hope you find the best solution!
Image credits – depositphotos.com/stock-photo-woman-packing-suitcase-on-bed
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.