Does your boyfriend always fall asleep when you two hang out? Is it becoming frustrating, and even putting pressure on your relationship?
It’s a fairly common occurrence. Often, there is a logical explanation and something the two of you can talk about and find a way to resolve.
Here are some of the most common reasons for one partner sleeping while hanging out:
Is It Boredom?
This is often one of the hardest things for a couple to face up to in a relationship, but he might be bored.
This doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you or enjoy your company. It might mean that whatever you’re doing together with your time just isn’t keeping him stimulated.
If this is the case, maybe he’s finding it hard to communicate this and finds it easier to just go to sleep.
Doing activities with a partner that you both enjoy is one of the hardest things to balance in a relationship. You might need to bring this up and find a compromise, it’s not like he’d be sleeping if he was hanging out with his mates, is it?
Does He Have a Different Sleeping Schedule to You?
When one partner is sleeping when the other isn’t, you can never rule out ie being due to an overlap in sleeping schedules.
If he works nights or something like that it’s an obvious one. But it might be how he’s choosing to spend his time when he’s not with you (staying out late drinking?!)
Anyway, if he’s too tired he’s going to fall asleep. Especially if this also overlaps with some of the other reasons on this list.
Things Are Too Comfortable?
Getting into the “comfy zone” in a relationship has its pros and cons. It’s awesome to feel so comfortable around your partner that you can fall asleep.
For the person falling asleep, that is…as you’re finding out, it’s not as fun for the partner who’s awake wanting something fun to do or someone to talk to.
A little chat is needed. As long as you approach it tactfully, this is one of the easier reasons to bring up and resolve.
It’s Possible He’s Not So into You
I hate to bring up the worst-case scenario, but we have to be honest here. Your boyfriend might be sleeping to avoid confronting the issue that he’s not into the relationship.
If this is the case, there will almost certainly be some other signs you can pick up on. It’s easy to miss them if you’re all loved up, but eventually, the signs will mount up.
You can either talk to him about it or start looking at your relationship yourself.
Related – 14 Signs a man is done with a relationship.
Chemical Bonding Is at Play
There’s something called “chemical bonding” that happens between two people in love, especially in the early stages when a relationship is new.
What this basically means is that your hormones are overactive. It makes sense when you think about all the feelings that rush through you with a new relationship, doesn’t it?
All I can really say about this is that it’ll pass. As the honeymoon period always does, and eventually, you’ll want to go back to this blissfully happy stage!
Is It After Eating or Drinking?
Some people feel overwhelmingly tired after eating or drinking alcohol. While others are energized and need to burn off energy afterward.
If the two of you are opposites; so you are wide awake and full of energy while your boyfriend is sleepy, this could be an explanation.
The science behind it is that some people produce more serotonin after eating certain foods. This means it’s really out of their control as to falling asleep, so don’t hold it against them.
The simple test here is to hang out without eating a meal or drinking any alcohol beforehand and see if it has any effect on both of your energy levels.
He Might Have a Sleeping Disorder/Health Issue
Maybe he has a sleeping disorder or health issues causing him to fall asleep? Some people are too embarrassed to bring something like this up, especially in a newish relationship.
He might not even be aware of it and by you bringing up the topic he might get checked, find there is an underlying health reason, and get treated.
It’s worth talking about. If he can rule out the other possible reasons, it’s certainly a possibility. It’s estimated that more than 50 million Americans have some form of sleep disorder, so it’s not uncommon.
In Summary – What to Do Next
I know how annoying it can be when you’re excited to see someone and be spending quality time with them – only for them to fall asleep and leave you hanging.
Hopefully, you’ll be able to tie his sleepy behavior in with one or more of the reasons I raised in this article.
The important thing here is to approach this without blaming him or showing that you’re annoyed. To get your bf to open up and be honest about why he’s sleeping, you need to make it easy for him to open up.
If he’s often tired, he may be lacking motivation and the energy to work on this alone. So, be supportive and helpful rather than judgemental and demanding he sorts it out.
As long as both of you can communicate clearly and talk about it, I’m sure you’ll be able to work this out.
Related – Why do I feel sleepy around my boyfriend?
Why do people feel tired after eating? – MedicalNewsToday.com
Image credits – Header image by Clem Onojeghuo, in-body image by The Creative Exchange on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.