My Husband Hides My Belongings! (Reasons Why Guys Do This)

Husband Hides My Belongings

If you’re asking, “help, my husband hides my belongings”, or “why does my partner hide my things?” here are some possible explanations to explain their behavior:

He Might Be ‘Gaslighting’ You

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation. It’s when the manipulator tries to make someone else think they’re going crazy by moving things, saying things did or didn’t happen, and generally trying to make them question their own sanity.

If your husband is hiding or moving your belongings, then denying it even when you know it’s him he may be gaslighting you.

Why would he do this?

It’s a form of control and manipulation. When someone gaslights someone else, they gain some power and control – at least in their minds.

When they see the person questioning their own actions and memory, it makes them feel like they’re in control. Because it was down to their actions that caused this confusion.

Any form of control in a relationship is incredibly dangerous. Gaslighting, in particular, is ugly. It’s unfair to make someone think they’re forgetting things, and it’s unfair to hide someone else’s belongings.

If you know this is happening to you, you need to either get out of the relationship or confront him. If he’s willing to come clean, talk about it, and seek help, there is hope for you both.

RelatedBenefits of ending a toxic relationship.

He’s Suffering From Mental Illness

You can’t ignore the fact that your husband might be dealing with some kind of mental illness. After all, it’s not ‘normal’ behavior to hide a partner’s belongings.

It may be due to a form of neurosis, which is essentially a condition that can cause someone to lose grip with reality a little. As well as causing abnormal behaviors – such as moving or hiding things.

This is something only a qualified doctor, psychiatrist, or the appropriate medical professional will be able to tell you for sure. It’s a difficult subject to tackle, but something you will have to do to rule it out.

It Depends on What He’s Hiding?

The reason behind our husband hiding your possessions might also lie in what those possessions are.

For example, a few items and their reasons are:

Mobile Phone – If he’s hiding your mobile he’s trying to control who you can and can’t speak to. This is probably because he thinks you’re cheating, or he’s just lacking self-esteem and confidence.

It’s one of the worst forms of emotional and mental abuse though. No one has the right to hide someone else’s phone, no matter the reason why.

Money – Hiding money is another form of control. Without money, he thinks you can’t do much without his help. In the long-run, this is a form of abuse controlling men use to keep a woman from having the means to leave him.

Or, at least they make it a lot harder for their partners to leave. If your man gives you limited money, start forming an emergency fund with every spare penny you can.

Things important to you – If he hides anything important to you that he knows will cause you some emotional distress, he’s just trying to enforce some kind of emotional control over you.

Hiding things like jewelry, presents given to you by friends and family, and other mementos, are all forms of abuse. Once you know for sure he’s hiding them, make sure you find somewhere safe for the items that are important to you.

Car Keys – Again, an abusive form of control to dictate where you can go and who you can see. You should never feel – or actually be – physically trapped in any way due to the deliberate actions of a partner.

If he’s been hiding your car keys it’s a strong sign that worse is to come in the future if it isn’t already. 

What Should I Do If My Husband Is Hiding My Things?

What Should I Do If My Husband Is Hiding My Things

First of all, you need to be sure that he’s hiding your things. Don’t worry, I’m not suggesting you’re going mad or getting forgetful – but you do need to get some concrete proof for your own peace of mind.

Once you know for sure he’s hiding your stuff, you need to confront him about it.

It’s not going to be easy for most, but what’s the alternative, right?

To keep dealing with this abuse? Hope he’s going to change his ways and stop hiding your stuff?

Unless you’re already completely over the relationship and you just want to walk away, of course. Then you can always just leave.

But if you want to work at the relationship, as with all inter-relationships problems, it starts with communication.

Be prepared, however, hiding your belongings is a serious form of abuse. It’s probably going to take more than a brief conversion and an apology. This is a systematic behavior carried out with the intention of controlling and manipulating you.

Most men that do this form of abuse will need some form of professional help to really help them understand why they do this.

It’s something you will need to keep a close eye on. It’s crucial that you don’t just give in and allow them to make excuses, or make excuses for them though. Toxic relationships and toxic behaviors rarely, if ever change for the better without a major intervention.

Related Does your husband pick on little things you do?

Don’t Lose Touch With Friends and Family

One of the main reasons men do controlling behaviors is to limit the contact their partner has with friends and family. Which is essentially your support network.

Have you lost touch with friends or family? Been seeing them less? Noticed your husband has been slowly restricting the time you spend with them?

This is unacceptable. You need to break this cycle of controlling behavior now. Make contact with your support network, and keep them informed about what’s going on in your life.

Most importantly, listen to them!

Friends and family always see the problems more clearly from the outside and give the right advice.

Most women in abusive, controlling relationships don’t listen to that advice or don’t see it the same as they do. Because they’re under the control of an abusive partner.

Whatever it takes, please, listen to those who care about you. Listen to your inner-self, pay attention to what’s happening around you.

Image credits – Photos by Eduard Militaru and Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

21 thoughts on “My Husband Hides My Belongings! (Reasons Why Guys Do This)”

  1. I take pictures of area’s, then show the picture to the maniac, and watch him squirm.
    I have moved up to a hidden camera, so I can get the police involved and have him arrested.
    I can hide a small camera in my own home.
    I now have a lock box for my wallet, keys, check book and medication.
    I can barely walk, from a spinal cord injury during a spinal fusion, so this is beyond cruel.
    It’s hard to move away, when you can barely walk and every friend is gone because of this jerk.
    He stole arch supports from 2 pair of my shoes, that were very expensive.
    Someone please come up with a prenatal test, for NARCISSISTS, so we can abort them, and save the planet. Bare minimum a red dot, tattooed on their forehead.

  2. Nathan Millward

    You said men a lot in this , my wife well actually very soon to be ex has been doing this

  3. I can’t catch my husband at this and he is a champion liar. He has been doing this for years,but it’s only recently that I have realized what he is doing. I’m 81 years old and have no money of my own. I was in the age when women didn’t work. I can’t even get an apartment.

  4. I’m sorry to hear that, Margo, at least you’re aware of what’s going on and can start to formulate a resolution that works for you and your situation the best you can. Good luck.

  5. Enjoy this article, however women do this too. My ex (who showed all four signs) hid my possessions around the house, and told me she didn’t.

  6. Anndela Mcdonald

    Cant take it anymore this madman hides my stuff i know hes doing it i have caught him rearangeing thingd in a particular order he really likes seeing me upset. I dont lose my shit usually but now hes hidding my phone and fights me to use his when i cant find mine.i would not usually care but i run my whole business off it because of an android challenge for research im being set up i cant yakr it no more…… Please calm me diwn before i break him!

  7. It’s worse when your wife is a professional investigator and calls you names as a form of a Defense mechanism for the abuser she actually is. Hiding your own things is just abuse. Just counting down my days to leave when the kids get much older

  8. If I lay down any kind of jewelry or really anything he takes it and hides it and denies ever seeing it. He even acted like he never knew I owned the earrings I was looking for once. And then I find them weeks later and of course ha has no idea how they got there. He is driving me crazy. He does no wrong but everything I do is wrong .iam the problem not him. he calls me awful names his favorite is garbage or piece of sh**. I don’t know what to do. I been with him 12yrs I have no family no money only him he gets mad for everything.last week he was mad because I did not cut the car off until 2 min after I pulled in the driveway. I hate looking in the mirror. He never compliments me and if I ask him too he calls me insane and says real women don’t expect compliments. But he says he lives me so much and he’s trying to do better. And he wants to spend his life with me. I don’t know what to do. How can I explain his narcissistic personality to him with out him thinking it’s a joke

  9. Sandra Pasquariello

    My husband has been doing this for many, many years. He is very vindictive. It has been credit cards, insurance cards, powder brush, hair brush and so many more things I can’t list. Many times I say I will have to spend a lot of money on this and a while later, it appears. I have insomnia, health problems and a total mistrust of him. I am 79 and can’t leave. He always wants to look like the nice guy to all the family. Most think he s so nice. There is much more but not enough space to tell it. I am so glad I found this article. I thought I was the only one.

  10. My husband does this as well. It’s really bad. My story is similar to a lot of yours. Is there a support group for people who are having these experiences?

  11. Hey my name is kulsoom and I am 25 my husband is mentally abbuser he always hide my phone he says if you want to talk with your parents do it by my phone and he wanna record it
    Even he hide my favorite books he don’t want me to learn
    And don’t allow my parents to come and meet me at his home

  12. Finally, I’m not alone.. it’s a relief to hear stories that I am too familiar with.. Looking back, items went missing years ago, but the children were too small to it’s happening again 10 years later another pivotal point in our relationship now my mother passed and the behaviour ramped up. My memories of my mother, photos, jewellery, hair brush, reading glasses, even photos off my phone removed. Confronted him and he denied it, now he’s saying ‘he can’t find things’ as if I’m the one hiding them… I have arrived at a possible reason for his behaviour,. both these pivotal times in my life, where I needed support..I was focusing on coping instead of focusing on him!!

  13. Thank you so much everyone for posting here” now I know I am not alone!
    For years” my medications” emergency medical supplies, toiletries, jewelry, clothing, personal belongings in my car (chapsticks, sunglasses, reusable grocery bags, prescription glasses, things left in glove box) were either hidden only to reappear later or thrown out without my knowledge and consent! When confronted” I hear” well you weren’t using it” it was just sitting there” your not organized like you used to be” your crazy” you are always looking for a reason to blame me! Then the anger” violence” or hostility would start! My personal information and paperwork was taken and keys to my rooms, locks, storage locks and cars were taken then returned in the wrong place on my key chain” started to find odd objects in my vehicles! There is always excitement in their eyes and a subtle smirk on their face as they watch you look or get anxious when you are late for work or miss appointments because of it! It’s cruel and unusual punishment to feel greater then!!

  14. I’ve been through this with my ex husband twerp. Everything would go missing or be moved: jewelry, brushes, ankle braces, toothbrushes. Once I found a gigantic insect in my closed coffee canister, spiders in my coffee mugs, makeup moved, underwear rearranged. I always knew something had happened because his voice would noticeably change. I’d go in the room he’d just left and my eyeglasses or writing tablets would be in different places from where I’d left them. I have pictures of him doing it and finally am working with a female investigator. This seems to be a very common thing among abusers. We need to confront it.

  15. Omg reading all these stories are similar to mine right now. It is now that I have realized this. My mother’s ring who died 2 years ago of covid 19. So many things he goes in my car hide my umbrella to find it later after I bought another one. The other day I found the new umbrella broken. My latest episode is a bag of Sak purses like 8 or 9. These bags are very expensive. When I started looking for them questioning. He had the nerve to say that I don’t use them. He stated they will appear when Iam not looking for them. He calls me names. I can’t believe this is having to me. To everyone he is the good honest and wonderful husband. Women had come up to me to tell me how lucky Iam to have him. I am considered the bad one. Right now, my whole family died my adult daughters adore him. I am so lost right now. I had open heart surgery 3 years ago. Any one any advise.

  16. My husband has done this too for years it’s almost always my cell phone. I’m not crazy I am 100% sure he’s hiding it bc when i find it is somewhere it couldn’t have ever been with out intentional hiding. Now that we have kids it makes me resent him so much worse. when I can’t find my phone after an argument and he’s gone to work and I’m with the kids alone. It could be dangerous if I have no way to contact 911 in an emergency. It’s so petty and weird to me. He claims he does it bc he thinks I spend too much time on my phone. Realistically I don’t think I spend any more or less time on my phone than he does. I just think he does it to ‘win’ an argument. If I bring up an issue I’m having with him he turns it on me about my phone usage then you guessed it my phone is now suddenly in the bottom of a toy box or under a mattress. I’ve asked him to stop and he won’t. I don’t even think he realizes it bad. I think he thinks he is justified. Idk what to do. Today I hid my own phone so he wouldn’t have the opportunity too and he hid the charger and our roku box so I wouldn’t have tv while he’s at work. This is getting old and feels childish.

  17. Hi, I can really relate to the 80 and 79 year old wives. I am soon to be 62. I have suspected my husband has been doing this my entire marriage. 40 years. But couldnt prove it , I thought it was my suspicious mind. But I had always prayed for a big slip up on his part. And it happened, I was taking a mail box cover back and had it on my table out in the garage so I could see it. we were going to Walmart to take stuff back and I wanted to take that. it was completely out of view. under a folded rug and something else I know I didnt do it. it was so spur of the moment , He knew we were taking it back in less than an hour. I confronted him….. but it was so disapointing. now I know my 10 plus reading glasses are moved and thrown away…. I am constantly irritated .I have them on my head always now. I do not feel safe with him… it has ruined my health over the years. I had 4 kids my youngest just turned 18. Not sure anymore if I can live with him cause I don’t trust him. Past reasons also…..

  18. I am 73 and I have been married 53 years. I excepted that he doesn’t know how to tell the truth to me 10 years after we were married. I now realize there have been gaslighting for years. The passed three years have been very hard. He acts like he can’t hear, he lets air out of my car tires, he acts like he is sick. He is sick mentally! We have gone to the ER just for attention, probably 7 or 8 times. He does have heart problems and he doesn’t take medication so his blood pressure will go off the charts. He is now hiding my things more often: masks, my bed sheets I-purchased new sheets he pour bleach on them in the washer, took my glasses apart and more……..

  19. Wow. Thanks to everyone who wrote. Some things I know he did, no doubt. Other things just make me feel crazy especially when my mom or friends imply or actually say that I probably just misplaced them. My life is a separate bedroom, locked door, locked bathroom to keep my meds and toothbrush safe. (he cut the head off once! I KNOW I didn’t do that), hidden cameras, and taking photos of areas so I can look at them later and confirm they changed. I replace all my pants without pockets with those that do so I always have my phone and keys to the rooms in them. I made him buy me a new hybrid car under warranty that he can’t work on because he kept sabotaging my regular car so that belts broke and the battery was always dying but he was the mechanic, so I couldn’t take it anywhere. 35 years of marriage, 58 years old. I was very sad to see the other old timers and realize it’s not going to change. My kids think he’s the best and are looking at me funny so I believe he is telling them lies about me. How can there even be people like this?

  20. I’m going through this myself. I put my phone on my pram where the hood bit is lol what u normally used if it rains. Yes, it went. The most messed up thing is I kept ringing my phone, and a man found it it a bush, and there as been more stuff like this, and she tells me it’s me moving it and it’s not.. to be fair I’m getting really messed up we all the s,,t she doing

  21. My Ex did this to me but I did not realize to what level until after he moved out. I recall the smirk on his face and the snide comments when I thought I had misplaced something – it happened almost daily. sometimes it was mundane stuff like a razor, other times it was something important like a paycheck. He got very agitated when I switched to direct deposit after that. Childhood items that I had for years and pictures would just disappear. Even things that were not mine like dog toys! about Two years after he moved out and the divorce was final I went into the rooms that I did not have the stomach for to clean them up. Both were his “man caves” and he had locks on them so I could access them. I called a locksmith and had both locks removed and discovered GARBAGE BAGS full of items that he has hid from me for 25 years!!!! He even had bags behind the walls of the rooms and every once in awhile I will come across an item that had been missing and now I just chuckle. I recently found the car keys to my Mustang that I owned in the 80’s that he was very jealous of and I had keys made for that care a total of four times. Yesterday I found a dog bone still in the package that I got for our dog one Christmas . I recall that I was very distraught searching for it when I got ready to wrap it (it was our dogs final days and I wanted him to have something he enjoyed) and he was walking behind me saying I lost everything and I probably just imagined buying it. Smirking the whole time looking like the Grinch.

    When I found all my childhood toys (dolls, stuffed animals and other items) stuffed into garbage bags behind a wall I cried for days because I had thought for years they were truly gone. I really thought I was crazy and I cried because I was relieved to find out I was not losing my mind.

    It takes a truly twisted evil person to do this. Someone who is sick and needs professional help. I recently was dating a guy who I started to think was doing this and let me tell you – those ring cameras are a god send!! I kept missing my garage door opener. The clip had broken off and so I kept it in my purse. Every once in awhile it would be missing and I would assume it fell out of my purse and search for it. It always seemed to happened when I had an important appointment and had to leave and he did not want me to leave. He had broken the garage door (on purpose I now realize) so I could not manually open it and calmly watch as I searched for the opener

    I put my ring camera on a shelf over my purse one evening and announced that I had an important appointment with my doctor the next morning and recorded what he did. As soon as I was out of the room he rifled thru my purse got out the opener and put it in a drawer of the china hutch. I watched this on my phone and my heart sank.

    The next morning I got ready for my appointment and got ready to leave and he was watching me from the couch and smirking. I reached into my purse and loudly said “oh no its missing again!!!!” and he laughed and said “I guess you wont be going to the doctors now – how about you make me breakfast?”

    I dramatacially said “WAIT! I know what happened! ” and walked to the hutch, pulled open the drawer and removed the opener. The look on his face was priceless. I said “silly me I forgot I put it there” and stared at him long and hard until he was squirming. He got the message loud and clear and I dont think he ever figured out I had him on Ring and recorded it. He tried to be sneaky after that but I was wise to him and gave him a taste of his own medicine. When he “lost” his phone, wallet and keys for the fourth time he lost his sh!t and started accusing me of hiding them and I calmly went to the place where they were and said ” I put them in the same spot you hide my things. Now you know how it feels” and we soon parted ways

    I will NEVER date again. I am done

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