Having a relationship with someone who is in jail is tough – especially for the inmate on the inside.
They’re alone, at their most vulnerable, and probably spend a lot of time questioning what you’re doing and how you feel about them.
So, everything and anything you can do to prove to them that you love them is going to make their life inside a lot better!
Here are 10 ways how to show someone in jail you love them:
10 Ways How to Show Someone in Jail You Love Them
1. Write to Them, a Lot
Inmates rely on receiving handwritten letters, it’s the main way they communicate with the outside world.
Whether you’re good at writing letters or not, it’s something you’re going to have to become good at if you’re dating or married to an inmate!
Make sure to write as often as you can, and try to include as much about you and your feelings towards them as you can.
You’ll know the person better than anyone, write as much as is appropriate and tell them what you know they’ll enjoy hearing!
2. Reassure Them that You Love Them
This is something you’ll probably want to do often, as they’ll likely spend a lot of time wondering if you still love them.
It’s important to remind them that you love them, no matter what they’ve done or how long they’re in jail for.
Just a simple “I love you” can go a long way at the end of your letters or on the phone.
You need to keep in mind that they have a lot more time alone with their thoughts than you do, and this is when our minds can play tricks on us!
It’s normal for inmates to think the worst and doubt their loved ones on the outside, it’s your job to convince them otherwise.
3. Visit Them as Much as Possible
If you live close to the jail, make visiting a priority!
It can be hard to find the time and money to visit, but in-person visits are literally the most important thing to inmates.
Even if they play it down because they don’t want to put you out, I can’t think of another action that shows someone in jail you love them more than visiting them!
4. Make Plans for When They’re Released
It’s important for inmates to know that there is something to look forward to, so making plans for the future is a great way to show them you’re not going anywhere.
It gives both of you something to look forward to, and reminds your partner that they’re not alone in this – you’re in it with them!
Start small, make a list of things you want to do when they’re released and gradually build up to bigger plans like moving in together, starting a family, etc.
5. Get to Know Their Friends and Family Members
There is only so much you can do to show your partner in prison that you love them directly.
What you can also do, however, is show them indirectly by ingratiating yourself into the lives of their friends and family members.
This is a good way to reassure them that you love them and aren’t going anywhere – and it’s a great way to get a head start with their family before they’re released.
6. Stay Faithful
This one should be a no-brainer, but it’s still worth mentioning as there are lots of temptations and lonely nights when a partner is locked up!
Inmates often worry about their partners on the outside cheating on them, so it’s important to show them that you’re staying faithful.
The best way to do this is by simply not cheating. There are other ways too, like being open and honest about any potential temptations you face and how you handled them.
Related – Tips on how to tell if an inmate is taking advantage of you!
7. Surprise Them with Gifts
A small, thoughtful gift can go a long way in showing anyone you love them, and it’s even more important to inmates.
Jail is a very monotonous place, so anything that can break up the monotony is going to be appreciated!
What you are allowed to send will depend on the rules where they’re incarcerated, just do something that’ll surprise them and make them smile when you can.
8. Remember Important Things About Them
This is something that’s easy to forget when your partner is locked up, but it’s so important!
You need to remember the things that are important to them, like their favorite foods and TV shows, and try to include them in your letters and conversations.
It’ll make them feel loved and appreciated, as well as help you connect on a deeper level.
9. Don’t Question or Doubt Them
It’s easy to start doubting your partner when they’re in jail, especially if you don’t know the full story of what happened.
Or, you might be questioning how they feel about you, your future together, etc.
Keep in mind that they are probably going to be dealing with some issues of their own being locked up all day, and might even try pushing you away.
Your job is to stick by them and give them all the support you can through the tough times as well as the good.
Related – More on how to stand by someone in jail and how to hold them down and take care of them.
10. Don’t Hold It Against Them that They’re in Jail and You’re Missing Out
The worst thing you can do is blame your partner for the heartache you’re feeling and the things you’re missing out on.
Sure, maybe it is their fault they’re locked up, but there is no point holding that against them now.
What they really need right now is someone who’s going to support and love them, and it’s your job to show them that you do love them and you’re there for them.
By following these tips and reading between the lines as to what your partner wants and needs from you while they’re inside, I’m sure you’ll be able to show them you love them.
It might not seem like a lot, but it’s going to mean the world to them when they’re alone every night in their cell and in need of that emotional support.
Image credits – Photo by Rajesh Rajput on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.
2 thoughts on “10 Ways How to Show Someone in Jail You Love Them! (A Lot!)”
FINALLY! AN article that doesn’t have send them money as a suggestion. Thank you your post have been very helpful for me and have inspired me to do a few things for my jail boyfriend.
Me and my fiance were not really together before he went to jail I was just there for him every time he needed me and he had lots of girls around I never got to 7:0
I never got to be known as his girlfriend the day he went to jail I was there for him even though he wrecked my car before he even got cancer to the phone there was a message waiting for him and he decided that he loved me and he asked me to marry him he’s pretty much institutionalized he’s been in prison over 9 years hes a household name in prison and the streets. He he looks means he’s scary but he’s my teddy bear. I was so loyal there for him always food, a ride, I was his sanity he pushed so hard to not accept my love. He slept with other girls while I watched their kids he tore my heart apart . He was just playing the game that’s all he knew. When he stopped and accepted my love something came to not mad he’s never had a home he’s never had his own dresser he’s never had someone to love him and kiss him and holding protect him in a different way than being strong physically so he protects me so I don’t get hurt my bones don’t get broken no one can take advantage of me and I protect his heart he will never be alone, I have but the most important part of your teddy bear I have his heart I have his soul I have his joy I have his smile his laughter. when he sees his first waterfall I will be there his first concert his first
Roller coaster ride. So many things to show him. What a privilege I have to be in his life I’ve never got to hold him or kiss him or make love to him as his girlfriend nevertheless his wife i just want you all to know the love is the only thing that can don’t tear down those walls the more you love the more they’re going to push away cuz they’re scared for someone that’s been in prison being vulnerable it’s just not a possibility let them know you guard his heart.y minutee stay loyal don’t sleep with somebody when he gets out we’re going to be his birthday that’s going to be so special and wonderful the biggest gift you can give him is to let him know every day how important he is and he grow up now he pushes that he had so many girls that wanted him I knew I never had a chance to marry him I just dreamed about it now I’m going to be Mrs Clinton Garrett Smith aka cowboy don’t give up!!!
sincerely the future Cowboy Mrs Smith