When you’re dating someone who is behind bars, it’s normal to feel emotionally detached and doubt their love for you.
Prison relationships are notoriously difficult, for people on both sides of the bars.
Whether you’re on the outside, or the inside, it’s important to know how to show your partner that you do really love them.
If you’ve been doubting your partner recently, here are 11 signs an inmate really loves you!
11 Signs an Inmate Really Loves You
1. They Don’t Ask Much of You
Inmates are in a vulnerable and restrictive position and they often end up asking a lot of people on the outside to help them out.
This often leads to prisoners taking advantage of using people to get what they want, which is obviously something they wouldn’t do to someone they really love.
So, if an inmate isn’t asking much from you, even though you know they would take all the help they can get, they clearly care about you a lot.
2. You Can See It in Their Eyes when You Visit
On the occasions you get to see someone on the inside, the look in their eyes should tell you everything you need to know.
If they look at you with love, admiration, and appreciation, then it’s pretty clear they really do care about you.
And you’ll know by how it feels.
On the other hand, if they barely acknowledge your presence or seem really distant, it might be a sign that they’ve moved on.
Related – Holding down your man while he’s inside? Read this.
3. They’re Always Making Plans with You for When They’re Released
If your inmate partner is always making plans with you for when they’re released, it’s a good sign they see a future with you.
It means they trust you enough to make long-term plans and that they’re not just stringing you along until someone better comes along.
They might even talk about having kids with you or getting a place together, all exciting stuff if you feel the same!
4. They ‘Understand’ if You Can’t Wait for Them
One of the toughest things about being in a relationship with someone locked up is that your life is on hold, too.
If your partner is a long-serving inmate and they tell you that you should find happiness while they’re stuck inside, it’s actually a sign that they love you.
For them to tell you not to move on, would be a selfish act and one of someone who doesn’t want the best for you.
They have to live with the fact that they’ve ended up where they are due to their poor decisions, not yours.
It’s up to you whether you wait for them or not, if you both love each other I’m sure things will work out.
5. They Write You Deep, Thoughtful Letters
There’s nothing more romantic than getting a letter in the mail, especially when it’s from your loved one.
It’s even better when that letter is full of beautiful words and thoughts about you and your relationship.
Inmates have a lot of time on their hands to think, so if they care about you they could be using that time to write you long love letters!
Plus, it’s a great way to keep the spark alive when you can’t be together.
6. They Promise They Are Going to Change, and You Believe Them
The biggest risk for any inmate is reoffending when they’re released.
This is why it’s so important that they have a solid support network on the outside, to help them stay on the right path.
If your partner has been in jail for a while and for the first time they’re telling you they’re going to change, it’s a good sign they really do love you.
It means they realize they need to make changes not to end up back in prison if they’re going to spend the rest of their lives with you.
Related – Doubting your man? Here are 11 signs an inmate is actually using you!
7. Friends of Theirs Tell You They’re Crazy About You
If you’re not able to see your inmate partner very often, it’s reassuring to hear from their friends that they’re always talking about you and how much they love you.
It means you’re on their mind even when you’re not around and that they really do care about what’s going on in your life.
Of course, this isn’t always possible, but if you do have friends in common it’s a good way to gauge how they really feel.
8. They’re Making the Best Use of Their Time Inside
There are usually lots of educational resources and things for inmates to do on the inside to further themselves for when they’re released.
If your partner is taking advantage of these opportunities and working towards a better future, it’s a sign they want to make things work with you long-term.
It means they’re not just sitting around idly waiting for their release date, but are actively trying to make themselves a better person.
9. They Are Genuinely Interested in Learning About You
There is a world of difference between listening to someone when they’re talking, and really listening.
If an inmate cares about you, he’s going to be genuinely interested in learning about you and will hang on to your every word.
He’ll want to know about your day-to-day life, your family and friends, and what you like to do for fun.
You’ll also get a buzz from speaking with them and get that nice feeling in your tummy that they care about you.
10. They Remember the Cutest Things You’ve Told Them
On the back of being interested in you and asking loads of questions, if they remember all the little details from the things you tell them it’s also a huge sign they’re into you.
It means they’re hanging on your every word and are really interested in getting to know you better.
What’s more, it also shows they have a great memory!
Related – Tips on how you can tell someone behind bars you love them.
11. You Just Know
Sometimes, you just know when someone loves you, right?
Love is an emotion and a powerful one at that.
From the interactions you have with someone, whether that’s an inmate or someone you have a closer relationship with, you just know.
Sure, you need a little help and reassurance sometimes, and that’s what these signs are for.
If an inmate is checking lots of the boxes above and also giving you that warm, fuzzy feeling, then it’s extra validation that what you’re feeling is love – and it’s a beautiful thing, isn’t it!
Image credits – Photo by Pablo Padilla on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.
This content is great and engaging, especially for prisoners and those who meet someone in jail who sees their future with. Thanks for sharing informative content. Keep on posting!
Great article. I have a lot of concerns. My “inmate” and I had been writing for a year. I got his name from a Christian pen pal missionary. He’s just Started flirting and trying to get closer. Of course I was caring for my sick husband when we both began writing our prison pen pal. My husband passed about 9 months ago. Wasn’t looking for any sort of relationship AT ALL. But it was nice to get compliments, it made me small. I had taken care of my husband for 3 years and cancer isn’t pretty nor is it easy. Sometimes I feel guilty for liking the sweet comments.