It’s hard to tell if a waitress likes you, or is just flirting or being nice as it’s part of their job and they want a nice tip. There are ways to tell if a waitress, waiter, barista, actually likes you if you read between the lines and look for body language cues though.
In this article, I’m going to reveal some of the key body language cues, signs, behaviors, and things waitresses may say when they’re interested in you more than just as another customer.
How Do You Tell if a Waitress Is Attracted to You?
It’s hard enough to figure out if someone is interested in you under normal circumstances, when someone (a waitress) is literally paid to be nice to you it’s even harder.
The first thing I have to say is not to rush anything or jump to any conclusions – that could cause an awkward situation.
You want to be as sure as you can be that the waitress in question is interested in getting to know you better – or just bowled over by you – before making a move.
There’s nothing wrong with putting yourself out there and making a move on her, of course. But at least go through the checklist below and see how many of these signs you’re noticing:
She Spends More Time With You Than Other Customers
Time is money for servers, as are tips. Unless the restaurant/bar, wherever you are, is dead quiet, a waitress will rarely ‘waste’ time with customers.
In addition to this, servers shouldn’t be spending more time than is necessary bothering customers and they have other things to be getting on with.
Pay attention to how much time this waitress is spending with other customers. If she’s clearly spending more time hanging around and talking with you, you’re right to think she’s interested.
She Asks You Personal Questions and Seems Genuinely Interested in You
Like a lot of the signs I’m covering, there is a thin line between a waitress delivering super-friendly service and showing that she is genuinely interested in you.
However, a waitress should stay professional no matter how friendly or flirty they’re being.
If they start asking you personal questions, such as; asking how old you are, if you’re in a relationship, whereabouts are you from, etc, this is overstepping that professional line.
Obviously, some waitresses have a personable nature and will do this, but pay attention to how they answer you and react to your answers.
She Still Gives You Preferential Treatment Even Though You’re Not a Good Tipper
Waitresses and other servers in the hospitality industry rely on tips to make up their wages, there is no secret about this.
It’s also well-known that they will give preferential treatment to customers that they think – or know – will give them bigger tips. It’s just the nature of the business.
If you’re not a good tipper, however, (and why aren’t you?) but a waitress still spends more time with you than other customers, it sounds like it’s you she’s interested in and not your tip.
You Chat About Things in Common
Having things in common with someone provides a pathway to building trust, getting to know that person better, understanding more about that person, and of course, is one of the important things in a relationship.
If you find yourself chatting about the things you have in common with a waitress, that’s certainly a step in the right direction to getting to know them a bit better.
If you find they remember key things and bring them up when they see you, it shows that they have an invested interest in you as a person and like you for being you.
She Asks When She Will See You Again
It’s good customer service for the waitresses to say, “see you again soon”, or “come back again”.
If a waitress is asking you something a little bit more direct like, “when will you be coming back in?”, or letting you know what hours and days she works so you cross paths, that’s something different.
That’s more than just being polite, that’s showing that she has an interest in when she will see you again.
She Has Been Asking Your Friends About You
Another sign that a waitress is taking the server-customer relationship over the line is if she asks other people about you.
If she asks your friends, family, or anyone she’s seen you with about you, her intent is not strictly a professional one.
This is a great sign that she likes you or is interested in you, and it pretty much opens the door for you to move this forward if you’re interested in her.
She Blushes/Fidgets When She Sees or Talks With You
Most of the classic signs that someone likes someone else also apply to waitresses.
Just because they have to engage in conversation with you and be nice doesn’t mean you can’t look for these social cues and behaviors that indicate they like you.
If she seems to get a little nervous around you, fidgets with her hair, touches you when talking to you, makes long eye contact, blushes, etc, these are all behaviors that indicate you make her a little flustered.
How Do Waitresses Flirt?
Some waitresses are naturally flirty, and some know that flirting with men, or vice versa, is going to lead to bigger tips.
It’s genuinely difficult to know if a waitress is flirting with you because she likes you, or being flirty for one of those reasons.
Hopefully, the tips above will help you read between the lines and pick up on some of the subconscious behaviors that reveal what she’s really thinking!
It’s also something that you will become better at reading the more you see the waitress. Without being too attentive, be aware of how she behaves around other people and customers.
If she’s being more flirty with you, you will not be able to tell by just looking at how she treats you. But you will get a much better idea by paying attention to how she behaves around other people.
For some extra signals, some of the classic signs that a woman is flirting to look out for are:
- Glancing at you or ‘checking you out’ from a distance
- Being overly attentive to you
- Fidgeting or adjusting her clothing a lot when talking to you
- Playing with her hair
- Giving you compliments (that may feel a little awkward)
- Finding an excuse to touch you
- Probing you with questions and finding out when they will see you again
Should I Hit On the Waitress?
Ultimately, the only way you can really be 100% sure if a waitress likes you or not is to make a move on her, right?
Obviously, no one wants to put themselves out there and set themselves up for rejection – and hitting on a waitress is even more difficult to judge than a regular situation.
It’s hard to give you a definitive answer without knowing your exact situation, but if you think she’s interested in you based on the signs covered above, the ball is in your court.
Image credits – Photo by Louis Hansel on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.