Is your ex interfering in your new relationship?
If so, it puts you in a difficult situation – especially if you’re still friends with your ex.
The bottom line, however, is that your ex should not be interfering and it can have a negative impact on your current relationship if they are.
Here are 10 common ways an ex will try and interfere in a new relationship, and how to put a stop to it!
10 Ways An Ex Will Interfere in Your New Relationship
1. They Keep Texting You
Your ex might think they’re being subtle by texting you all the time, but it’s actually a pretty clear sign that they’re trying to interfere in your new relationship.
If your ex is constantly texting you, then it’s time to have a talk with them and explain that you’re in a new relationship and would appreciate it if they would respect that.
I’m sure your new partner doesn’t want your attention being drawn to your ex texting while you’re with them – and I’m sure they’re hoping it will cause a problem.
2. They Don’t Give You Space when You Ask for It
If you’ve asked your ex for some space, whether it’s because you want to spend time with your new partner or just need some time away from them, and they don’t give it to you, then that’s a definite sign of interference.
It can be tough having to tell your ex that you need space, especially if you still get along well, have friends in common, and so on.
But it’s important to be firm and explain that you need some time away from them in order to focus on your new relationship.
3. They Turn up Unexpectedly
If your ex suddenly starts turning up in places where they know you’ll be, it’s a pretty clear sign that they’re trying to interfere in your new relationship.
It’s one thing if you still run into each other occasionally because you have mutual friends or live in the same area.
But if your ex is going out of their way to show up in places where they know you’ll be, it’s a problem.
This is especially true if they start showing up uninvited to places where you and your new partner are hanging out.
4. They Keep Asking About Your New Partner
Your ex might try to act like they’re just curious about who you’re dating and how things are going, but in reality, they’re probably just trying to interfere.
If your ex is constantly asking about your new partner, it’s a good idea to politely tell them that you’d rather not talk about it.
5. They Are Trying to Become Friends with Your New Partner
If your ex is trying to become friends with your new partner, it’s a pretty clear sign that they’re trying to interfere in your relationship.
It’s one thing if you were all friends or knew each other to start with, but even so, you should be separating your time between your ex and your current partner.
But if your ex is going out of their way to become better friends with your new partner, it’s a red flag for sure.
6. They Are Trying to Get You Back
Perhaps the most obvious sign that your ex is trying to interfere in your new relationship is if they’re constantly trying to get you back.
Whether they’re sending you text messages, calling you, or showing up places where they know you’ll be, if they’re doing it with the intention of getting you back, then it’s a problem.
You need to make it clear that you’ve moved on and that they’re wasting their time, as well as telling them that they’re harming your friendship.
7. They’re Stalking You on Social Media
If your ex is stalking you on social media, this can cause just as much – if not more – of a problem as stalking you in real life.
They might be trying to see if you’re still interested in them or if you’ve moved on, it’s not healthy behavior on their part.
For your current partner, it can also be upsetting to see your ex always commenting and liking your photos.
If it becomes too much, don’t hesitate to block them or disappear off of social media for a while yourself.
8. Your Friends Tell You how Much Your Ex Misses You
Your friends might think they’re being helpful by telling you how much your ex misses you, but in reality, it’s just another way for them to interfere.
You don’t need to know what your ex is up to or how they’re feeling, especially if it’s something that will just make you feel bad.
It’s a low blow if they’re using common friends to get through to you. Make it clear to your friends that you don’t want to hear about how they’re doing.
9. You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Ex
This one isn’t directly related to any of your ex’s actions, but it is still something that harms new relationships so I thought I’d include it.
If you can’t stop thinking about your ex for any reason, you can’t be 100% committed to your new partner.
You need to have an honest conversation with yourself about why you haven’t completely moved on and address what those issues are.
10. They Spread Lies and Bad Things About You
This is a really low thing for an ex to do, but unfortunately, it happens.
They might try to tell your new partner lies about you in order to turn them against you or make themselves look better.
Or they might try to spread rumors about you in an attempt to ruin your reputation.
If this is happening, you need to talk to your new partner about it and set the record straight.
Unfortunately, you might have to end things with your ex and cut them out of your life for good so they can’t continue to hurt you in this way.
How to Stop Your Ex Interfering in Your New Relationship
If your ex is interfering in your new relationship, there are a few things you can do to stop them.
First and foremost, you need to have a conversation with them about it. Explain that their behavior is hurtful and unwelcome and that you’d appreciate it if they stopped.
If they continue to interfere despite your request, you may need to take more drastic measures.
This might include blocking them on social media, cutting off communication, or even ending things with them completely.
Whatever you do, make sure you protect yourself and your new relationship from further harm.
Is It Disrespectful to Meet up With an Ex While in A New Relationship?
It can be disrespectful to meet up with an ex while you’re in a new relationship under some circumstances, yes.
Your new partner might feel like you’re not over your ex or that you still have feelings for them if you’re meeting up with them.
It’s important to be honest with your new partner about why you want to meet up with your ex and to make sure they’re okay with it before you go ahead and do it.
In some cases, it might be better to just let things go and move on from your ex instead of trying to stay friends with them.
Your new partner should always come first, so if meeting up with your ex is going to cause them any pain, it’s probably not worth it.
Can You Still Love Your Ex While in A New Relationship?
It’s possible to still love your ex while you’re in a new relationship, but it’s not a healthy way to be.
If you’re still thinking about your ex all the time or comparing your new partner to them, it’s a sign that you haven’t really moved on.
It’s important to be honest with yourself and your new partner about your feelings and to make sure that you’re really over your ex before you commit to a new relationship.
Falling in love with someone new is a chance for you to start fresh and create a new, healthy relationship.
Don’t let your past interfere with that.
If you still have strong feelings for an ex, it’s a sign that you’ve not given yourself long enough to come to terms with the breakup.
Image credits – Photo by Shawn Fields on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.