In this article, I’m going to explain the difference between breadcrumbs vs reconciliation in relationship terms.
I see both of these terms being thrown around, but do you know the difference between being given breadcrumbs and actually reconciling?
Here’s a full explanation of what these terms mean!
Breadcrumbs vs Reconciliation – Differences Explained!
What Does It Mean if An Ex Gives You Breadcrumbs?
Have you ever been talking to an ex and they suddenly start texting you more, or trying to talk to you more?
Maybe they even start liking your posts on social media again.
You might think that this means they want to get back together with you, but unfortunately, it’s usually just a case of them giving you what’s known as ‘breadcrumbs.
Breadcrumbs are tiny little snippets of attention that an ex will give you in order to keep you interested, without actually committing to anything.
It’s a way of them staying in your life without having to put any effort into the relationship.
A lot of times, they want you to chase them and want to get back with them – just so that they can take control of the situation and let you down.
So if you’re getting breadcrumbs from an ex, it’s best to just ignore them and move on.
Examples of Breadcrumbing
Breadcrumbing can be hard to identify and it’s not always clear what someone’s intentions are.
That said, some of the common examples of breadcrumbing that come to mind are:
- Your ex likes one of your Instagram photos from three weeks ago but doesn’t say anything
- Your ex sends you a Snapchat out of the blue that piques your interest in them
- Your ex starts texting you more often, but only about surface-level things and doesn’t want to meet up
- Your ex is clearly flirting with you but isn’t committing to meeting up or anything more substantial
- Your ex is inconsistent with their communication, often ignoring your messages on one platform like SMS, and sending you messages on another like Instagram
As you can see, some of these things might not mean breadcrumbing – but they also can.
You’ll need to take a hard look at how your ex is behaving to figure out if they’re breadcrumbing you.
Even if they’re not deliberately breadcrumbing you, they’re still behaving in a toxic way and you need to really think about distancing yourself from them.
How Should You Respond to Breadcrumbing?
The best way to respond to breadcrumbing is by ignoring it.
I know that can be really hard, especially if you still have feelings for your ex, but it’s important to remember that they’re not giving you the attention that you deserve and they don’t want you back.
They might say that they miss you and want to talk to you more, but they are leading you on and want to satisfy their own selfish needs to gain control of your relationship.
It’s not worth your time and energy to try and chase someone who doesn’t want to be chased, I recommend either telling them you know what they’re doing or not playing their games.
What Does It Mean if An Ex Wants to Reconcile?
Reconciliation, on the other hand, is very different from breadcrumbing.
If an ex wants to reconcile, it means they either want to get back together with you and they’re willing to put in the effort to make it happen.
Or, they want to reconcile whatever differences you have and have a healthy and productive relationship with you.
Either result could be considered a win.
It’s a far cry from breadcrumbing which means your ex has a more sinister motive for their actions.
Whether or not you want to reconcile is up to you and it really depends on your relationship with your ex.
If they hurt you a lot in the past, then it might not be worth having them back in your life.
On the other hand, if you miss them and think there’s a chance for a healthy relationship, then it might be worth considering reconciling.
In the end, it’s up to you to decide what’s best for you and your wellbeing. But it’s important you can identify the differences between breadcrumbs vs reconciliation.
Examples Your Ex Wants to Reconcile
It’s not always going to be obvious if your ex is trying to reconcile or just be nice.
That said, some of the common examples of reaching out to reconcile are:
- Your ex wants to talk to you about what went wrong with your relationship and is willing to talk about it openly
- Your ex is willing to change their behavior and do whatever it takes to make things right again
- Your ex expresses how much they miss you and want you back in their life
- Your ex asks for your forgiveness and is genuinely being thoughtful and kind toward to
- Your ex is consistent with the way they’re reaching out to you and you can see they’re making an effort
These are all signs that your ex wants to reconcile and they’re willing to put in the effort to make things right.
How Should You Respond to Reconciliation Requests?
If you’re considering reconciling with your ex, then you should respond positively to their reconciliation requests.
You can talk about what went wrong in the relationship and why you think things could be different this time around.
You can also express how much you miss them and want them back in your life.
I know it’s hard, but you need to be honest with your ex about your feelings and what you want from the relationship.
If they’re not willing to put in the effort, then it’s probably not worth reconciling.
But if they are, then there’s a good chance you can have a healthy and productive relationship with them again.
Image credits – Photo by Magnet.me on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.