If someone is envious of you, it’s often a sign that things are going well for you but it still doesn’t feel good.
When someone is envious they’ll often hold some resentment or find ways to try and bring you down.
So it’s important you spot the signs that someone is envious and put some distance between you and them and protect yourself.
Here are 15 signs someone is envious of you and what you should do about it:
15 Signs Someone Is Envious of You
1. They Make a Lot of Effort to Always Be Around You
When someone envies you, they’ll want to try and get as close to you as possible.
They’ll do this by trying to be around you as much as they can, or make sure they’re in the same social circle so they can keep you close.
This enables them to keep an eye on what they envy about you while planning their next move!
2. They Keep Complimenting Certain Things to Do with You
You’ll be able to narrow down what it is this person envies about you if they’re always giving compliments about it.
For example, if the person constantly says how much money you make, or how popular your website is; these are signs they’re envious about those things.
3. They Say They Wish They Could Have the Things You Do
This is one of the more obvious signs someone envies you, but it’s often passed off as an innocent comment.
If someone keeps telling you they wish they had the things you have, or that they want to be more like you, it’s an indication they envy you.
4. They Go Quiet When You’re Talking About Your Accomplishments
If someone is envious of you, they will (and won’t) want to hear about your successes.
It’s complicated, they’ll want to hear about your successes but will be so envious that they’ll find it hard to naturally congratulate you.
What tends to happen is envious people just go quiet and aren’t sure what to do when someone is celebrating the kinds of successes they wish they had.
5. They Play up To You in A Fake Way
It can be hard to spot when someone is playing up to you and being nice just because they want to get close, but the signs will be there.
If this person isn’t ever there for you when you really need them or you’re starting to get the feeling that they’re faking their friendship, don’t ignore your gut feeling.
6. They Talk Bad About You Behind Your Back
Someone who is being eaten up with envy will find it hard not to talk bad about you behind your back.
They’ll most likely want to try and turn others against you or devalue the very things they look up to you for.
It’s toxic behavior and if you hear – or know – someone talking bad about you behind your back, take note.
7. You Can’t Rely on Them Like You Can a True Friend
Envious or not, if someone acts like they’re your friend but never backs it up with their actions then you need to re-evaluate what kind of relationship you have with them.
True friends will be there for the highs and lows, but if someone is secretly envious they will not want to see the best for you.
8. They Try to Sabotage You
Taking things a step further, some envious people may try to sabotage your successes in order to bring you down.
This can be anything from messing up your work, actively trying to make someone else look better than you, or spreading false rumors about it to try and bring you down.
If little things keep happening, start taking notice and finding out why.
9. They Have Been Copying You
It’s natural to take a little inspiration from someone, but if it goes beyond this then you can bet envy is playing a part.
Envious people will copy your style, ideas, hobbies and even create something similar to what it is about you they wish they had.
10. They’re Trying to Take Your Friends Off You
At the end of the day, envy is about wanting what someone else has.
If someone is trying to take your friends away from you, it’s because they envy the fact you have friends and want to try and position themselves where you are.
11. They’re Always Competing with You
If someone is always trying to compete with you then it’s a sure sign they envy what you have, or worse they might be jealous.
Whether it be in work, school, in sports, or something like trying to impress your friends, a competitive streak can also be linked to envy.
12. They Make Condescending Remarks or Try to Put You Down
People tend to make condescending remarks when they feel envious of someone and want to make themselves feel better.
They may try and make comments about your job, clothing, or whatever else it is they envy you for in a way that makes you feel bad.
It’s important to see through their motivations and not let their comments get you down!
13. They Say You’re ‘Lucky’
I always hate it when someone says anything is luck.
I see ‘luck’ as when opportunity meets preparation. I believe nothing good is going to happen without someone making it happen.
So, if someone is saying you’re lucky it’s another way they are trying to chip away at you and devalue your hard work.
This is a sure sign they’re either envious or jealous of how things are going for you.
14. They Think They’re Trying Harder Than You or Are More Deserving
Similar to having a mindset that someone else is just luckier than they are, a person tormented with envy will also think they’re more deserving.
They may think they deserve the job, relationship or whatever else it is you have that they want and feel like their hard work isn’t being appreciated.
When in reality the fact that they’re stuck in these kinds of thoughts is what is really holding them back.
15. You Can Just Feel It when They’re Around
Last but not least, if you think you can just feel that someone is envious or jealous of you you are probably right.
Sure, it helps to see some of the signs on this list as an additional backup, but I’m a big believer in listening to my gut.
You’re not always going to be right, but you certainly shouldn’t just pass it off if you’re getting a strong feeling that someone is envious of you.
It’s important to remember that envy and jealousy are two very powerful emotions, and they can cause people to act in strange ways!
Related – Here is why you attract jealous friends!
Envy Is Not the Same as Jealousy!
I mentioned jealousy in this article a few times and some people use these words interchangeably, but it’s important to know the difference.
The main thing to remember is that envy is wanting something someone else has whereas with jealousy it’s the fear of losing something you have in relation to someone else.
It’s a subtle but important difference and understanding this can help you identify when someone is envious of you as opposed to jealous.
What Makes Someone Envious of Someone Else?
At the end of the day, envy comes from a place of wanting something we don’t have and feeling like it’s not within our reach.
It’s often a sign of low self-esteem with people not believing in themselves and their abilities.
Envy can also be about wanting to keep up with the Joneses and feeling like we’re falling behind or missing out on something.
It’s totally normal to feel this way at times, but it’s important to remember that you don’t need to compare yourself to others and try to keep up with them.
If you can find a way to be content in your own journey and trust that you are on the right track you’re going to be much happier.
That’s often easier said than done, of course, but if you feel like you’re envious of someone else and it’s affecting your behavior, you have to do something about it.
What to Do When Someone Is Envious of You
When you recognize that someone is envious of you, first of all, it’s important to remember to have compassion for them.
Envy can make someone do toxic things and it’s only going to cause you and the other person more suffering if you don’t try and take a step back.
You should also consider whether it’s really worth continuing to spend time with that person if they’re constantly trying to bring you down.
Finally, make sure to look after yourself and put your mental and emotional well-being first.
You don’t need to be around anyone who’s trying to bring you down and make you feel bad about your success.
Even if they’re been a good friend and you don’t want to lose them, something has to change otherwise they’re going to be a continual drag on you.
Communication is everything, anything you can do to reassure them and help them build their self-esteem is going to go a long way.
Image credits – depositphotos.com/stock-photo-smiling-girl-holding-bouquet-envy
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.