My son has never had a girlfriend, should I be worried?
This is a question a lot of parents ask themselves – you’re certainly not alone!
As parents, we want the best for our kids in every sense, from education to relationships – that’s perfectly normal.
You shouldn’t be quick to panic if your son hasn’t had a girlfriend, however, and there might be a perfectly rational reason why.
Here are some of the questions you should ask yourself and how to look at this situation:
My Son Has Never Had a Girlfriend – 5 Things to Consider
1. How Old Is Your Son?
The first thing to consider is how old your son is.
Obviously, the older he is, the more concerned I can understand you are about him finding a girlfriend and potentially settling down.
Even though teenagers are supposed to be the most active, if your son is still in his teens – don’t sweat it!
There’s plenty of time for him to find love and it’s actually a good thing in most cases if he spends his time and energy elsewhere, like on his studies!
On the other hand, if your son is in his 30s and has never had a girlfriend, I can understand your concern.
2. How’s He Getting on In Other Areas of His Life?
It’s also a good idea to look at the broader picture and look at how your son is getting on in other areas of his life.
Is he doing well at school or college? Is he working hard and progressing in his chosen career path?
Is he generally happy and well-rounded?
If the answer to all these questions is a resounding “yes”, then there’s no need to worry about him and it sounds like he might just be more motivated by his career and personal development.
On the other hand, if he’s struggling in other areas of his life, it might be worth considering whether or not he’s dealing with some mental health issues like low self-esteem.
3. Maybe It’s Not a Priority for Him
It’s also worth considering that, for some people, finding a partner and being in a relationship simply isn’t a priority.
By this, I mean that they might be perfectly happy being single, which is totally fine.
There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to be in a relationship and it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your son.
If this is the case, hopefully, he’s willing to talk about it with you and help put your mind at ease.
4. Does He Want a Girlfriend?
Something else to discuss is whether or not your son wants a girlfriend.
If he is longing for a girlfriend but can’t find one, there’s nothing wrong with offering some help or support.
I’m not suggesting you start asking girls out for your son and trying to set him up on dates, but a little parental guidance can’t hurt.
If he’s not interested in having a girlfriend, that’s fine too – like I said before, there’s nothing wrong with being single.
5. You Need to Respect His Wishes
Something I think is worth pointing out is that you need to respect your son’s wishes.
If he’s explicitly said that he doesn’t want a girlfriend, then you need to accept that and not try to push him into it.
You may want him to have a girlfriend more than he does, and I’m sure you have his best wishes at heart – but you can’t push him into finding a girlfriend.
How to Talk to Your Son About Dating
If you’re concerned about your son never having a girlfriend there’s nothing wrong with talking to him about it.
In fact, it might help put your mind at ease.
It can be a difficult conversation to have, and it’s important to approach it in the right way.
Just try and casually bring up the topic of whether or not he’s dating and if there has been anyone he’s liked.
Try and probe if he’d like a girlfriend and from there you can figure out if he’s struggling with his self-esteem, confidence, or any other areas of dating.
When Should You Start to Get Worried?
This is a tough question to answer as you never need to worry if your son never has a girlfriend if he doesn’t ever want one.
On the other hand, if your son is desperately unhappy and longing to have a girlfriend I know how much that hurts to see as a parent.
All you can really do is encourage him to broaden his social circles, join dating sites, and do things to help him work on his confidence.
I hope this article has helped put your mind at ease a little bit.
Remember, there’s nothing wrong with being single and if your son is happy and content then that’s all that matters.
If there is a deeper-rooted issue, it’ll come out through communication so make sure you try to speak with your son about his dating life, no matter how difficult it is.
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.