If you want to ask a coworker out for a casual date, I know how nervous you feel!
I’ve been there myself – and I can’t tell you how glad I am I got up the courage and asked her out!
It’s all about how you approach asking a coworker out, and most importantly that you do it!
Here are 10 tips on how to ask a coworker out casually the right way:
How to Ask a Coworker Out Casually – 10 Tips!
1. Make Sure They’re Single!
The worst possible outcome is asking a coworker out on a date only to find out that they’re not even single!
There’s nothing wrong with getting to know someone at work better, and if you’re looking for a date – make sure they’re available first!
You shouldn’t need to ask them directly, I’m sure you can find out from other coworkers or by asking them what they get up to in their spare time.
2. Pick up On the General Vibes They’re Giving You
You should have a pretty good idea if the person you want to ask out is interested in you, before you even ask them!
If they’re giving you any sort of positive signals, such as making good eye contact, complimenting you, or even just chatting with you more often than others – these are all good signs!
3. Pick the Right Time to Ask Them Out
This is an important one because you don’t want to embarrass them or draw any more attention than is needed to the situation.
At the same time, you don’t want to follow them around and corner them when they’re doing something either.
A good time is usually just when you’re making general conversation or by popping over to where they’re working when they don’t look too busy.
I’m sure you’ll be able to find a time that works!
4. Have Something Fun to Do in Mind
When you ask a coworker out, it’s important to have something fun in mind that you can do together!
This could be going for coffee, seeing a movie, going for drinks, or anything else that you think would be fun.
The last thing you want is for them to say yes and for it to become awkward, so make sure you have a plan!
5. It’s Ok to Ask in A Casual Way
You’re asking them out casually, so it’s fine to ask in a casual way like you’d ask a friend to hang out.
You don’t need to make a big deal out of it or put any pressure on them, just act naturally and ask if they want to join you for whatever you have planned.
The key about asking someone for a casual date is that it’s a low-pressure date and you’ll impress them once you’re hanging out!
6. Don’t Try Too Hard – Be Yourself
A golden rule when asking anyone out is to just be yourself.
Don’t put on an act or try to be someone you’re not, as it will only make things more awkward later on.
Just relax and be yourself, and they’ll either say yes or no.
If they say no, it’s not the end of the world – at least you were true to yourself and didn’t try to be someone you’re not.
7. Ask Them Out!
You can’t avoid the most important part of asking a coworker out, which is… actually asking them out!
It’s something a lot of people get nervous about and a lot of people will never get the courage to ask.
Don’t be that person.
Just remember that the worst thing they can say is no, and it’s not a big deal.
So go for it, and ask them out in a casual way like you would ask a friend.
8. Listen Attentively to What They Say
This is another important point to be prepared for as when we’re nervous we often get carried away and don’t listen properly.
The person you’re asking out might say ‘yes’, ‘no’, ‘maybe’, or something else.
Before reacting by saying one of the things you’ve been running through your head, listen carefully to what they say.
Take a breath, and make sure you respond appropriately.
9. Pay Attention to Their Body Language
Sometimes – and this is often true when flirting or asking someone out – our actions say more than words.
Body language can be a really good indicator of how someone is feeling, so it’s important to pay attention to it.
Even if they don’t say ‘yes’, they might be super nervous or caught out on the spot and still show you they like you.
Look for signs that they’re smiling, a little nervous, or interested in what you’re saying.
At the very least you might get closer to them as friends even if you don’t go out.
10. Accept Whatever They Say
At the end of the day, you have to accept what the person you’re asking out is saying – no matter how much you’d love to go out on a date with them!
If they say ‘no’, don’t push it and ask them again or ask why they don’t want to go out.
This will only cause a more awkward situation between the two of you around the office or wherever else you work.
Just accept it, and move on.
What Is a Casual Date?
A casual date is usually a first date where there’s no pressure on either person to make things too serious.
It’s often used as a way to gauge whether there’s potential for a relationship, and it can be a lot of fun!
A few things to remember when asking someone out casually over a more traditional date is to keep things light and fun.
Don’t put any pressure on the other person by talking about serious topics or trying to make things too romantic.
Just enjoy each other’s company and see where things go!
Is It a Bad Idea to Ask a Coworker Out?
There’s no easy answer to this question.
On one hand, it could be a great idea because you already know each other and are aware of whether or not you have a lot in common.
On the other hand, it could be a bad idea because if things don’t work out you still have to see each other every day at work and it can complicate things.
The best thing to do is to weigh up the pros and cons before making a decision.
If you decide to go ahead with it, just be aware of the potential risks and be prepared to deal with them if they arise!
One thing I will say is that coworker relationships are not uncommon, and many end up as happy ever afters – so I wish you good luck!
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.