In this post I’m answering, ‘I Thought He Liked Me But He Has a Girlfriend!’
If you like a guy and feel like he’s flirting with you or feels the same, it can be devastating to find out he has a girlfriend.
Was he leading you on?
Does he really like you?
Can there be a future for the two of you?
I’m going to help you answer these questions and more!
Here is what you should consider and do if someone you like has a girlfriend and you think there is chemistry between the two of you:
I Thought He Liked Me but He Has a Girlfriend – What to Do?
When you’ve been talking to a guy and feel like it was going somewhere if you’ve found out he has a girlfriend you need to take a step back.
Some of the things you need to ask yourself to figure out where he’s coming from are:
Has He Been Flirting with You?
One of the most common things I hear from women is that they thought a guy was flirting with them, but it turns out he has a girlfriend.
There are a few things you need to consider when trying to figure out if a guy is flirting with you:
- First, how often does he talk to you? If he talks to you all the time and is always trying to start conversations, it’s likely he’s flirting with you.
- Second, what does he say when he talks to you? If he’s constantly complimenting you or making personal comments, he’s probably flirting with you.
- Third, does he touch you when he talks to you? If he’s constantly touching your arm or shoulder, he’s most likely flirting with you.
- Fourth, how does he act around other people? If he’s always around you and seems to go out of his way to talk to you instead of others, he’s likely flirting with you.
If you’re sure he’s been flirting with you, this opens up a whole new bunch of questions about whether or not he’s a player and trying to cheat on his girlfriend.
Related – Examples of innapropriate flirting when married and what it means to have a ‘work wife‘.
How Did You Figure out He Has a Girlfriend?
This one is a big deal, did you find out that he has a girlfriend by chance, or was this guy honest and upfront about it?
Clearly, even if he was honest about having a girlfriend and told you himself, it sounds like it took him a while!
If he didn’t tell you and you found out by chance, this is a whole different story.
If he’s being secretive, it’s possible that he wants to cheat on his girlfriend with you or is at least considering it.
This is a red flag that you need to be aware of and tread carefully.
Does He Act Differently Now You Know He Has a Girlfriend?
This is also something you need to pay close attention to; does this guy act differently around you now he knows you know he has a girlfriend?
If his behavior changes and he’s more distant or even a little embarrassed, it’s likely he was trying to cheat on his girlfriend with you and got busted.
In this case, you need to be very careful as he may try to gaslight you into thinking you’re overreacting and he’s not really doing anything wrong.
However, if his behavior doesn’t change and he continues to act the same and even wants to introduce you to his girlfriend as he thinks you’ll get along, this is a good sign!
It’s likely he wasn’t trying to cheat on his girlfriend with you and is just a good guy who was being super nice.
Should You Carry on Talking to A Guy Who You Like But Has a Girlfriend?
This is a tough question to answer as it depends on your individual situation.
If you’ve only been talking for a short while and you think feelings are getting involved, it’s probably best to move on and find someone who is single and available.
There’s no point in getting emotionally attached to someone who is taken and off-limits.
On the other hand, if you’ve been friends for a while and value him as a friend, I’d say it’s fine to carry on hanging out and talking.
Unless you really can’t deal with the feelings you feel for this guy, in which case, you may need to take a bit of time away from the friendship.
Related – Here’s my thoughts on talking to a married man every day!
What Should You Do if You Think a Guy Likes You But Has a Girlfriend?
If you’ve found yourself in a situation where you’re talking to a guy and are sure he likes you more than a friend, if he has a girlfriend it’s almost always going to be best if you back off.
He might be the guy of your dreams and the two of you might be perfectly suited, but that’s not something you want to figure out by becoming the third person in their relationship.
If you think he likes you more than a friend, the best thing to do is talk to him about it openly, and honestly.
Explain that you will not get in the way of his relationship and things can only progress if he’s single, and see how he reacts.
If he’s interested in you, he’ll definitely think about what’s important to him and make some changes.
All you can really do is be honest and upfront, if it’s meant to be, it will happen.
Good luck!
Image credits – depositphotos.com/stock-photo-young-couple-in-cafe
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.