If you hate your husband’s dog, it puts you in a difficult spot to say the least.
Dogs, and any pets for that matter, can cause serious problems in a relationship.
It’s important you’re able to speak openly with your husband about how his dog is causing problems in your relationship, and hopefully find a resolution.
Here is how you can approach the topic, what you can expect, and why pets can cause issues in a relationship:
Help! I Hate My Husband’s Dog!
OK, the first thing you need to do is stop stressing about the dog and internalizing the issues it’s causing you.
If you are internalizing it, that is.
If you’ve tried to speak with your husband and not gotten anywhere, hopefully I can help you approach this in a way that makes him listen!
Here’s how I would approach talking to your husband about how you feel:
Find a Good Time to Speak to Your Husband
I’m sure you’re feeling frustrated, and that’s OK.
Just try and pick a time when you’re both relaxed and not likely to get into an argument about it.
For example, it might be best to avoid bringing up the subject when he first gets home from work, before bedtime, or when he’s hanging out with his dog.
Instead, try for a moment during a calm evening when you’re alone, or even during a leisure activity like watching TV.
If you’re both calm and able to give your undivided attention, you will be able to communicate better and make better decisions.
Related – Do you hate your dog but your husband really loves them?
Explain Why You Don’t Like His Dog
Now it’s time to explain to your husband why you don’t like his dog, and how it’s causing problems in your relationship.
Be honest, but try not to attack him or his dog.
Try to focus on how you feel, and avoid making any accusations.
For example, you might say something like:
“I don’t like feeling like I have to avoid your dog, or that I can’t relax in our home.
It’s causing me a lot of stress, and I don’t feel like we’re able to spend as much time together because of how you put him/her first.”
Hopefully, your husband will be able to understand how you’re feeling and why you feel that way.
Some people just aren’t pet people, or it might be that the dog is damaging your property or bothering you – he has to respect that.
If he loves you, he will want to try and make things work so that everyone is happy!
Don’t Make Him Feel Like He Has to Choose Between You and His Dog
The last thing you want to do is give your husband an ultimatum, this will just make him feel trapped and he will be more likely to act defensively.
Try and find a compromise, so that both you and your husband are happy.
For example, you might say something like:
“I know how much you love your dog, and I don’t want to come between that.
But I also need to feel like our home is my home too.
Can we try and find a compromise, like making sure the dog is trained so that he/she doesn’t jump on me or damage our things?”
If you’re able to find a compromise, it will show your husband that you’re willing to work things out and that you care about his feelings too.
Suggest Things That Would Help
When tackling any problems, it’s better that you come to the table with some solutions to your problems.
This will show your husband that you’re serious about finding a resolution, and it will also make things easier for him as he won’t have to try and guess what you want.
For example, you might say something like:
“I know it’s important to you that you spend time with your dog, but I would also like for us to spend time together alone.
Can we try and find some other way to compromise?
Maybe we can set aside some time each week where it’s just you and him, and also time where it’s just the two of us?”
Or, if the main issue is the dog damaging stuff and not having boundaries, you could say something like:
“How about we make our bedroom out of bounds for him/her, or ban him/her from jumping on the sofa?”
Remember, the goal is to find a solution that works for both of you.
If your husband really loves his dog – and I’m sure he does – it might take some negotiating and bargaining over time!
Related – How to talk to your husband if he’s emotionally distant.
Can a Dog Hurt a Relationship?
It’s not uncommon for people to feel like their partner loves their dog more than them.
It’s also possible that your husband had his dog before he met you, so while you want to be his main focus – and you should be – you can’t take that history away from him.
While it might seem like your husband is spending all his time and attention on his furry friend, it’s important to remember that a dog can’t replace a partner.
A dog can provide companionship, love, and support – but they’re not the same as a human relationship.
If you feel like your husband is spending more time with his dog than with you, it’s important to talk to him about it.
It might just be that he needs some help balancing his time, or he might not even realize that he’s doing it.
Either way, a discussion needs to be had so that you feel comfortable in your own home or when spending time with your husband and his dog is present.
Dogs and other pets are one of the reasons why couples split up, I hope this isn’t the case in your relationship!
Image credits – Photo by Cynthia Smith on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.