Figuring out what someone really thinks of you is a lot harder over text than it is in person.
If you’re concerned or think someone hates you based on your text conversations, there will be signs to look for.
Here are 15 ways how to tell if someone hates you over text messages and what to do about it:
How to Tell if Someone Hates You Over Text – 15 Signs To Look For!
1. They Never Initiate Conversations
This is one of the most obvious red flags you can pick up on over text that someone doesn’t like you, and may even hate you.
If they never initiate a text conversation it shows that they’re not thinking about you.
If you’re always texting them and they still never text you first, for me this shows that they just don’t want to talk with you for some reason.
Related – What it really means when a girl texts you ‘haha‘.
2. They Take Ages to Reply, if At All
If you’re waiting hours or even days for someone to reply to your text, it’s a pretty obvious sign they don’t want to talk with you.
It could be because they’re busy, but if you’re constantly waiting for a reply it shows that you’re not a priority to them.
You can call it leaving you ‘on read’, ignoring you, ghosting you, whatever you want, but the message is the same – they don’t care about you.
3. They Text You Insults and Criticism
If someone is always putting you down or insulting you over text, it’s a huge red flag they don’t like you.
Nobody wants to be friends with someone who is always putting them down, so if this is happening it’s likely they hate you.
It’s not a nice feeling, and I strongly recommend distancing yourself from anyone who treats you like this.
4. They Text You Condescending Remarks
Texting you insults is one thing, but receiving condescending remarks is another level entirely.
This shows that not only do they dislike you, but they also think they’re better than you in some way.
It’s another toxic behavior to take notice of and have a serious think about whether or not you need them in your life.
5. They Dry Text You
Dry texting is when someone sends you a text that doesn’t really say anything.
It’s like they’re just trying to make conversation for the sake of it, rather than because they actually want to talk with you.
People will often do this when they dislike someone but don’t want to be as blatant as to ignore them or say something directly about it.
It’s a bit of a cowardly way to interact, if someone is dry texting you and you’re putting way more effort in than them you should take notice.
6. They Agree to Meet Then Let You Down
If you’ve been texting back and forth for a while and finally agree to meet up, but they then cancel on you or don’t show, it’s a bad sign.
This could just be them being flaky, but if it happens multiple times it shows that they really don’t want to see you.
They might find it difficult to say no, but they might be messing you around on purpose because they dislike you.
7. They Boast About Their Achievements
If someone is always bragging about their achievements and what they’ve done, while putting you down in the process, it’s a sign they want to make you feel inferior.
They might be trying to make themselves feel better by putting you down, or they might just want to show off how great they are because it feels good for them.
Whatever the reason, no one likes a show-off or boaster!
8. They Send You Weird Memes About Hate
Another indirect way someone texting you might show you the disdain they have for you is by using memes.
Memes are a common way of communicating over text, and often people use them to show how they’re feeling without having to say it directly.
If someone is sending you memes about hate, or even making their own, it’s a pretty good indicator they don’t like you.
9. They Nitpick and Annoy You
Another passive-aggressive behavior that people often do when they dislike someone is nitpicking at them.
This is when someone finds anything and everything to criticize you about, even if it’s totally trivial.
It might not seem like a big deal, but it can be really frustrating and wearing if someone is constantly doing it as I’m sure you’ll agree.
10. They Won’t Tell You What’s Up If You Ask Them
One of the most frustrating things about a lot of people who behave in a passive-aggressive manner over text is that they’ll rarely admit it.
If you already suspect they don’t like you, or even hate you, you could ask them.
If they act like nothing is up, or say they don’t know what you’re talking about, it’s probably because they can’t admit it even to themselves.
11. You Know They Text Other Mutual Friends in A Different Way
If you share mutual friends with someone who is behaving in any of the ways listed above, take a look at how they text your other friends.
If they’re a completely different person with them, being loving and supportive while they’re horrible to you, it’s a huge sign something is up.
12. They Don’t Add You Into Group Chats with Mutual Friends
Chat groups using WhatsApp and other apps are common nowadays, and are also the cause of many conflicts!
If someone is omitting you from chats with people you both know, it sounds like they’re trying to isolate you.
It might not seem like a big deal, but if they’re doing it on purpose it’s something to pay attention to.
13. They Won’t Share Important Information with You
Withholding information is also a way of isolating someone or holding some kind of power over them.
If someone is doing this to you it’s a sign they don’t want you to be fully included in their life.
This might be something like not inviting you to events because they don’t want you there, or not telling you about things that are going on within the circle of your friends.
14. They Have No Problem Telling You They Don’t Like You
While some people will not have the front to tell you that they secretly hate you, some people will do so.
So, it’s worthwhile asking them straight up if they have an issue with you and why they have an issue if they say so.
It might not be the most comfortable conversation, but it will at least give you some closure.
15. You Can Just Feel It from The Tone of Their Messages
This one is a bit more difficult to explain, but sometimes you just know when someone hates you, right?
If you have a gut feeling that someone hates you over text, or any other communication method, then there’s probably a good chance that they do!
I hope they don’t and that you’ve got it wrong, of course, as hate is such a negative emotion.
But, if you really feel it in your gut then it’s probably worth considering that as a possibility.
If you’re also checking off various points on this list as additional ‘evidence’ then there are certainly some strong signs pointing towards it.
Related – Tips for responding to dry texters!
What Should You Do if Someone Clearly Hates or Dislikes You?
If after reading this post if you’re pretty certain that someone hates you, there are a few things you can do about it.
First of all, take a step back and try to figure out why they might hate you.
Do your best to put yourself in their shoes and see things from their perspective.
If you can’t figure out why they might hate you, or if you think it’s totally unjustified, then the next best thing to do is to talk to them about it.
As I mentioned earlier, this might not be the most comfortable conversation, but it will at least give you some closure.
If they’re unwilling to talk to you about it then there’s not much else you can do other than accept that they hate you and move on.
It’s not worth dwelling on it or letting it get to you too much, as that’s giving them the power.
Focus on the people who do like and support you, and try to forget about the haters as best you can!
Image credits – depositphotos.com/stock-photo-woman-using-her-mobile-smart
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.