If your ex has apologized, depending on what they’re apologizing for it can stir up some heavy emotions.
I’m here to help you figure out why they’re apologizing, if they mean it, and how you should respond:
What to Do When An Ex Apologizes
First, Figure out Their Intentions
When someone apologizes, and this is especially true in the case of an ex, it’s important to know what their motivations are.
What are they apologizing for?
How long has it taken them?
Have they been trying to talk to you?
There is always a reason why someone will apologize. We all hope it’s because they genuinely feel sorry and because it’s the right thing to do – but that isn’t always the case.
Are They Being Sincere?
This is more important than the apology itself; does it look and sound like they’re being sincere with their apology?
It’s hard to tell if someone is being sincere, but look for signs like:
- Taking responsibility for their actions
- Making an effort to make amends
- Saying “I’m sorry” without making excuses
- Explaining their actions and why it won’t happen again
If it looks and sounds like they are being sincere with their apology, then I would be willing to accept their apology.
That doesn’t mean I’m going to forgive and forget, but it’s polite to accept a genuine apology no matter how you feel about your ex.
Is It Enough to Repair the Damage?
Now, you have to ask yourself if the apology is enough for you to be willing to repair the relationship – if that’s what they’re after.
Or, if they just want to get back on good terms and bury what happened, that’s fine too.
This is something that only you can answer, so have a good long think about it and decide if apologizing for whatever they did is enough for you to forgive them.
Here’s How to Respond to an Apology from an Ex
When it comes to responding to your ex after they’ve apologized, here are a few things you can say depending on your situation:
“Thank You for Apologizing. I Appreciate Your Effort and It Means a Lot to Me.”
If you’ve been waiting for your ex to apologize and they finally have, it’ll mean a lot to them if you let them know you appreciate it.
This is especially important if you know it took a lot of courage for them to apologize and it didn’t come easily.
“I Accept Your Apology, But That Doesn’t Mean I Forgive You.”
Accepting an apology doesn’t mean everything has to be forgiven. Not at all.
If the apology was sincere and heartfelt, it is polite to accept it. But in the same breath, you can let them know that accepting their apology doesn’t mean that you forgive them yet.
“Apology Accepted, but It Doesn’t Change the Fact that What You Did Was Wrong and Hurtful.”
On a similar note, you can also make it clear that you were – and still are – hurt by what they did.
If your ex cheated or did you wrong in some way, there is nothing wrong with letting them know you’re not over it.
They should be aware of the impact their actions had on you.
“I Hear You and I’m Willing to Make Amends, But It’s Going to Take Some Time.”
If you want things between you and your ex to be better than they currently are now they’ve apologized, why not let them know and get the conversation started.
You can say it’s going to take time, if it is, or that you’d like to find a way to make amends.
Maybe suggesting meeting up and having a proper chat about things and seeing where it goes from there?
Related – Here are some comebacks to use when someone is annoying you!
What Does It Mean When An Ex Apologizes?
You can read a lot into what it means when an ex apologizes, and it really depends on what he or she did and how it affected your relationship.
Ultimately, there is only one way to know exactly how they feel and why they chose to apologize -and that’s by asking them.
By apologizing they’re telling you that they’re sorry, of course, and they are also opening up the door to repair the damage they caused and start a conversation.
I can imagine emotions are high – they’re your ‘ex’ for a reason – so my advice is to not jump to conclusions or assume things.
Take each apology on its own merit, don’t be afraid to ask questions or say how you’re feeling, and then decide if it’s enough for you to repair the damage or, at least, move forward on better terms.
Sources we used to verify the information in this article:
Medium – My ex finally apologized
Image credits – depositphotos.com/stock-photo-young-business-woman
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.