Have you had to face up to that painful reality that the person you truly love does not love you back? Yet, you find it impossible to deal with and stop thinking about.
Those who find themselves in this situation seem to always come across painful reminders. Like seeing this person around, hearing about them from other people, or having constant reminders that will not stop.
It can be incredibly painful to deal with. And until you find a way to really let go, you are never going to shift that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach that you feel when you have these reminders.
There are ways you can break free from these mental and emotional chains. But it will take some strength, determination, and an honest appraisal of what you want going forward.
You have to want to let go of this person because you know its for the best. When you are ready to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you, the following steps will help you break free.
Stop Reliving the Memories
If we are talking about a relationship with lots of happy memories, it’s time to stop reliving those memories and move on. While it may make you feel good thinking about some of the good times, it’s not doing you any good. It’s holding you back from moving on.
When someone doesn’t love you back there aren’t going to be any more of these memories with them. But there can be better memories with someone else. Even though it doesn’t feel like it’s possible right now.
Remove Any Reminders
Things that remind you of the person is question are just triggers for those memories. If you have any of their belongings, pictures, gifts, anything at all that is a reminder, it’s time to get rid.
This might sound harsh right now, but I’ve been through this with several people. It’s the right thing to do, and it actually has a pretty fast effect. Look at it this way, to fit someone else in to your life, you need to first make space.
Understand That You Will Find Someone at Loves You Back
When you are in this mood of questioning why someone doesn’t love you back you will be thinking a lot of negative thoughts that aren’t true. It will feel like you have lost ‘The only special one’, ‘Missed my only chance’, etc. But this couldn’t be further from the truth.
There IS someone more suited to you in the world, and they will love you back. But you will never find them if you’re hung up on someone who doesn’t love you. I think while reading this you will know this to be true.
What’s happening right now is actually a valuable learning experience. You will be better for it, and more equipped to deal with your next relationship if you’re willing to grow.
Separate Yourself from Your Ego
That pain inside that makes you want to keep holding on to this person is you trying to repair your ego. This is one of the hardest things to admit and move on from.
If you’ve been involved in a break up because the other person did not feel the same about you it’s not your fault. We can’t always control our feelings, and it’s not a reflection on you. Patch up that ego and get back out there.
Avoid Seeing the Person
The most painful reminder is the person in question.. Seeing them in person is going to be incredibly difficult. So you need to make a point to start avoiding bumping in to them.
If this means taking drastic measures like leaving a job or moving, then maybe that’s what has to happen. Weigh up the benefits over how difficult it will be versus the emotional damage of bumping into this person.
Finding ways how to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you isn’t going to be easy. I never said it would be, but it is something you can do if you want to.
If you follow the advice in this article you will be taking the all important first steps to moving on and dealing with your situation. You are going to have to meet these things head on at some point, so start now.
If you have dealt with these emotions, whether successful for not I’d love to hear your comments. Feel free to drop a comment below.
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.