One of the hardest conversations to have with parents is telling them you’re moving out of the family home.
There are a lot of emotions on both sites, and I can tell you from my own experience that it was a tough conversation and some tears were shed on both sides!
But it’s part of life, and as an adult, the time to move out has to come.
The big wide world is waiting for you, it’s more fun, and empowering, and will help you build valuable life skills living on your own or with housemates.
Here are some tips to help you tell your parents you want to move out, and most importantly put together a plan so it’ll all work out!
How to Tell Your Parents You Want to Move Out
Make Sure You’re 100% Committed to Moving Out
The worst thing you can do is have a conversation about moving out with your parents and not be 100% sure it’s the right thing or that you’re ready.
Your parents care about you, no matter how tricky your relationship is at times, so they’re going to have a lot of questions.
This isn’t a decision to take lightly, so take a moment to make sure you’re 100% ready to move out and will not back down if your parents put some pressure on you.
Know What You’re Going to Say
With any tough conversation, the better prepared you are the better the conversation will go.
Write out what you’re going to say, and practice it a few times if you’re really anxious about telling your parents you are moving out.
This will help make sure everything is said in the right way, and you can also provide them with some answers to the questions they may have.
Pick the Right Time to Talk
Timing is everything when it comes to delivering news like this, and it’s vital to pick the right moment.
Try to pick a time when you know your parents will be in a relaxed mood, and won’t be too busy or stressed.
If you can, aim to have the conversation when there will be some time afterward for them to process what you’ve said, so they don’t feel under pressure to respond right away.
When I told my parents I did it while we were eating one evening.
They were a little shocked, but it didn’t ruin the meal! They just had a bunch of questions about; why? when? was it us? etc, but it was fine.
Don’t Let Them Talk You Out Of It
There are a lot of overprotective parents who will try and talk their kids out of moving out, I’ve seen it numerous times.
This comes back to being 100% sure you’re set on moving out so you can be firm with sticking to it.
Be prepared for your parents to try and talk you out of it, but make sure you don’t give in as this is a life decision that has to be right for you.
Have a Plan in Place and Talk Your Parents Through It
This is what will really set your parents’ minds at ease and make them feel better about the situation.
Put together a plan that covers everything from where you’re going to live, how you’re going to pay for it, and how you’ll support yourself.
Let them know what kind of emergency funds you have, how you’re going to get by, and that you’ll be checking in with them on a regular basis.
Thank Them for Everything and Reassure Them You’re Ready for This
I think it’s fair to say we all have some ups and downs while living at home with our parents. No matter what’s happened in the past, that’s the past.
When moving out it’s important to let your parents know that you’re thankful for everything they’ve done, and that you feel ready for this life step.
The more confident and appreciative you come across, the more relaxed they’ll be about it all.
Believe it or not, I bet your parents have helped set you up with some important life skills that’ll come in handy, even if you don’t see it right now.
Be Sensitive to Their Feelings
My parents were pretty upset about me moving out, and my mom, in particular, kept asking me about it to the point where it was getting pretty annoying.
But I kept my cool and made sure I addressed their feelings as they came up and didn’t become too defensive.
As a parent myself now, I get it. Seeing things from their side makes it all the more understandable.
It’s important to be sensitive and understanding when delivering this kind of news, but also remember that it is your life and you need to do what’s best for you at the end of the day.
Lean on Your Friends for Support if Needed
Whenever I’m facing a big life decision, I always talk to my friends for advice or just have them as an ear to listen to what I’m thinking and feeling.
Your friends can be a great source of support throughout this process and give you the confidence to talk to your parents.
This is especially important if you have friends who have been through this already and can provide advice from their own experiences.
Involve Your Parents in Decisions if It’ll Help
For a lot of parents, it’s losing control or that close grasp on important decisions that make them anxious about you moving out.
If you find your parents are being particularly difficult or are very upset, try and involve them in some of your decisions.
Let them help you look for a place, or if you already have somewhere in mind, bring them to view it and let them know that they can still be involved in your life.
It also helps to set a day each week when you’ll drop back home or invite them over, this way they won’t be worrying about when they’re next going to see you.
It’s Time to Focus on Yourself, Your Life Skills, and Enjoy Your Independence!
Now you’ve told your parents, or at least have a plan in place to do so, it’s time to focus on what’s best for you.
Moving out of your family home is one of the most liberating, scary, and exciting things you’ll ever do, so I wish you luck!
Sources we used to verify the information in this article:
Image credits – depositphotos.com/stock-photo-adult-son-moving-out
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.