If a certain someone you like happens to be a police officer, there are some unique challenges when asking them out on a date versus asking a civilian.
If you’d prefer to wait for them you might be wondering; can a police officer ask you out on a date?
The answer to this is not while they’re on duty, no, that would be unprofessional and goes against their code of conduct.
There is nothing stopping a police officer from asking you out when they’re off duty though!
Here’s what you need to know about how to ask a police officer out – or have them ask you – and what it’s like dating someone in law enforcement.
Can a Police Officer Ask You Out On a Date?
I see this question asked a lot, as naturally a lot of women (and men) are drawn to someone in uniform.
And, police officers, in particular, get a lot of attention to the nature of their job.
However, even if you think there is some friendly flirting going on, I wouldn’t hold your breath when it comes to waiting – or expecting – a police officer to ask you out.
Even if a police officer wants to ask you out, they shouldn’t do so while they’re on duty and certainly not if they’re speaking or dealing with you professionally.
Those Hollywood movies where an attractive cop pulls a woman over and they instantly feel a connection and he asks her out are just fantasy, unfortunately.
It’s against a law enforcement code of conduct to cross the line from being professional to personal and ask someone out while on duty.
This doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen, of course.
In fact, one of my best friends ended up marrying a correctional officer he met while she was working (I’ll leave the exact situation out!).
If you have your heart set on dating a police officer you’ve met, don’t despair.
This doesn’t mean a police officer will not find you and ask you out when they’re off duty, and it doesn’t mean you can’t let them know you like them while they’re on or off duty yourself!
Is It Illegal to Ask a Police Officer Out Or Be Asked by Them?
No, it’s not illegal to ask a police officer out or be asked by them.
But as I explained, it’s against their code of conduct to ask a civilian out while they’re on duty or to respond to you asking them out.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask them out though.
Just because they can’t say yes and swap numbers while they’re working doesn’t mean they won’t contact you when their shift ends.
If they like you, I think you can be certain that they will contact you for a date if they’re single!
And no, there is nothing in the law enforcement code of conduct that says an officer cannot ask someone out when they’re off duty.
What’s It Like Dating a Police Officer?
Everyone is different, so I can only talk from a general perspective. But dating a police officer or anyone in law enforcement comes with some different challenges from a regular civilian.
Some of the things you should keep in mind are:
- They typically work shifts, so their hours might be all over the place and you need to be just as flexible.
- They might not be able to tell you about their work day if they’re involved in some secret or difficult scenarios.
- They may see some pretty horrific things, this can cause stress and some long-term issues like PTSD.
- They carry a service weapon (this one is more for the U.S.) which can be scary for some people.
- They have a reputation for being controlling, this is due to the regimented nature of their training and work.
- There is always the risk of them being hurt in the line of duty which can weigh heavy on your mind as their partner.
That’s a lot of negatives, I know!
I don’t want to put you off dating a police officer, there are loads of positives, too. I just wanted to make you aware of the possible downsides.
How Can You Ask a Cop Out?
If you’ve decided that you’re going to ask out a cop, there are a few ways you can go about it.
Depending on your situation, you could:
- Leave or pass them a note with your number.
- Ask a mutual friend to give them your number if you’re too shy.
- Ask another police officer to pass a message on to them if you don’t want to talk to them directly.
- Find them on social media and send them a message there.
Basically, any way you can get a message to them that you fancy them and would like to go out on a date!
Don’t expect them to react or reply while they’re on duty, but there is nothing stopping them contacting you when they’re off duty!
I hope this article has helped clear up whether or not a police officer can ask you out and the best ways you can ask them out if they’re not making a move!
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.