Are you the kind of person to let people run all over you, or do you stand up for yourself?
Bullying is an ugly word, but it shouldn’t be ignored. Bullying globally is on the rise. Within the workplace, schools, organisations, just about anywhere someone can use force to push someone around.
It’s not always physical force either, far from it. Mental and psychological bullying in real life, or online, is also on the rise. This form of bullying is just as devastating as physical bullying and the victims should not have to put up with it.
But what’s the answer? I will say now – I’m not writing this to find a way to stop bullying or suggesting that standing up for yourself will solve all your problems.
But there are a lot of benefits to standing up for yourself against bullies and people who are trying to bend your will. So let’s take a look at some of the positives and why standing up for yourself is the right thing to do:
You Will Form Stronger Relationships in Your Life
If people know you are not a push over, your friends will respect you more. There are always those friends that try to take a little too much from others, you know them right?
Well stand up to them and see where it goes. If they run a mile you are better off without them. But true friends will respect you more for your honesty and ability to not let them walk over you.
You Will Learn How to Control Your Emotions Better
Standing up to people means facing challenges and fears head on in most cases. You will feel overwhelmed with emotions the first time you do this. It’s ok to be scared, nervous and anxious. Being brave and standing up for what you believe in is the real emotion you want to capture.
So whether you are consciously aware of which emotions you are stimulating and dealing with or not. You are learning how to be better in control of your emotions.
You Will Find out Where Your Beliefs Stack up with Your Friends
We are all individuals, and we have different beliefs and values. Different people see things differently and you are going to find yourself falling out with some people when you stand firm to what you believe in. But that’s ok.
This is where you find out what your friends are really made of. Being firm to your beliefs can help bring other peoples true feelings to the surface. So through the good and the bad, it’s the right thing to do.
You’ll Become More Confident
Most people don’t stand up for themselves because they lack confidence or fear the consequences. Well, the take away here is that if you start standing up for yourself you’re going to become more confident.
You will become more aware that other peoples opinions should not make you do anything you are not comfortable with. Have the confidence to stand proud, and do what you know is right.
You’ll Get to Know Yourself Better
There are few better ways to know more about ourselves than to face up to some fears or step outside of our comfort zones. If you have been letting people walk over it’s time to find out what you’re made of.
You are going to find out how strong you are, and I’m sure you are a strong person. We all have it inside us to stand up for what we believe, remember that.
You Will Experience an Adrenaline Rush
While it’s a small thing and comes naturally to some, to others standing up for themselves takes some deep searched courage. With courage comes an adrenaline rush. Hormones that get released from our adrenal glands and makes our hearts beat faster and floods us with excitement.
Using this rush is what helps us grow as people and deal with similar situations easier in the future.
You Will Be Surprised at the Other Persons Reaction
When you stand up to someone their reaction is often surprising. I think most of us assume the person is going to get angry or try to force the issue more, but this rarely happens.
Faced with someone willing to stand up to them, people often back down. Obviously you need to read the situation and make sure it doesn’t escalate in a bad way. But if you keep your cool you can put yourself in control and manage the situation.
You Will Put a Stop to People Testing You
One of the unfortunate things about people, especially in cultures where bullying takes place, is followers. If you are seen as someone who can be made to do something, other people are going to try too at some point.
On the other hand. If you have proven that you are willing to stand up for yourself you will earn respect from others. I’m sure you know people like this. Think of someone you wouldn’t even attempt to push around. Be that person.
You Can End up Saving Time, Money and Stress
What’s important to you, saving money, time, stress, or all three and more? Standing up for yourself isn’t always the victim versus bully in the playground scenario.
It transcends into work flow, business decisions, financial investments, any scenario where a conversation is involved. Being able to stand firm and not be run over could be the difference between a favorable financial deal or an unfavorable one. Be strong!
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.
Hi, this is a story of how I, a middle school girl, stood up for myself, and can I just say? It felt good. In this story, I will only write the first initial of the person’s name to protect their privacy. So, I’m in middle school, and I moved recently, so I don’t have a clique yet. And the boys in my class (its a charter school, and there’s only one class for 7th and 8th combined) act like…well, like 7th and 8th grade boys. Teasing, mocking, and a lot of cussing. They tease me a lot, being new, and (not trying to sound racist) they’re all of Mexican descent and I’m white, so I get teased for that as well. The other day, Ms. K (teacher who watches us at lunch and dismisses us for 15 minutes of recess) was waiting for everyone to be ready to go outside. Ms. K’s rule is everyone needs to be sitting down to ho out to recess. One of the boys, A let’s call him, was ready to go outside, and he’s the biggest idiot of the class. Loud mouth, doesn’t think before speaking, you know the kid. One of my friends, M, was out of his seat because he was throwing away his trash, and he was walking back to his desk when A shouted “M! SIT DOWN!” He hurried back to his seat. I thought that its kinda unfair how A bosses everyone (except Ms. K, in fact she is usually the one standing up for the bullied) around, so I stood up- literally- just right next to my seat. I crossed my arms and stared defiantly at A. He shouted “E! Sit down already!” I refused, so all his friends, the other idiot boys, started mocking me, like “Oh, I know you’re white so you think you’re special and entitled to doing what you want. You aren’t.” And other things like that. I just kept standing. M, the girl who sits behind me, started trying to convince me to sit down (“Please, they will mock you so bad you will go home and cry”) along with S, (“Come on, they act like idiots but they can roast you really bad”). I kept standing. After about three minutes of me standing, Ms. K walked down my row, squeezed my shoulder, and stood at the door of the classroom (what she does to say ‘Line up to go outside’) She stood there, and I walked over there. The boys, not having noticed, kept trying to mock me to get me to sit down. Ms. K said “Come on! I thought you wanted to go outside!” to the boys, and they walked over. S, one of the boys, as he walked by said “E, you know we didn’t mean any of that right?” I rolled my eyes and wish I had a comeback. But it felt so good to stand up for myself. Can I just say, to everyone looking at this, if you normally try to take “lighthearted” teasing with a smile, don’t. It’s much better to stand up for yourself, it might get them to not act like idiots. And it feels great, too.
*go. Go out to recess