Having high self-esteem is vital for you to be the best you.
High self-esteem means you’re able to look at yourself and see all the positive value you have to offer, your strengths, have confidence, and so on,
Some people naturally have high self-esteem, but for most of us it’s something we need to work on- and there is nothing wrong with that.
In fact, actively working on self-esteem shows the willingness and proactive attitude towards self-development that’s going to make you successful at what you want to do.
One of the most effective ways to build your self-esteem yourself and identify areas you need to work on is by asking yourself self-esteem coaching questions.
Here are a few questions that you would be asked in a coaching session. Take the time to really think through the answers, I think you’ll be surprised by how many positives you walk away with:
Self-Esteem Coaching Questions You Can Ask Yourself
1. What Skills Make You the Special Person You Are?
I bet you can list at least 10 skills you have that make you the person you are and the valuable asset to work colleagues and family members.
Maybe you’re thinking along the lines of how you are good at listening to others and offering advice (even if you don’t confide in others).
Or, you can think about the practical skills you have developed in your line or work that make you good at your job.
Just let the skills that come to mind first flow on to the paper and think about how these skills are valuable to others.
2. Can You Remember 5 Times You’ve Overcome Adversity?
It amazes me how many people are quick to say they don’t have any examples of times they overcame adversity, an obstacle they thought was impossible or surprised themselves.
Yet, if you take the time to think about it and write down examples I know you’ll remember 5 times you did overcome adversity.
You’ll feel your self-confidence and self-esteem taking a boost when you recall these times and think about the steps you took to get past these roadblocks.
3. Can You Write down 10 Things You Love About Yourself?
This is one of those tough questions that will make some people look deep into themselves, but it’s a valuable exercise to improve self-esteem.
People with low self-esteem get stuck in a negative mindset and don’t see the good in themselves. I say don’t see because it’s there in all of us.
Noone knows you better than you do, so it’s time to be as open and as honest as possible and jot down what it is that makes you smile about you.
4. Can You Write down 5 Occasions You’ve Helped Someone and Made a Difference?
No matter how big or small it may seem, if you took the time out to selflessly help someone else you made a difference in their lives and that deserves recognition.
Write down 5 occasions that come to mind when you helped someone out. Doesn’t have to be a huge thing, but if you gave up your time for nothing in return it counts.
5. Can You Write down 5 Things You Feel Grateful For?
Becoming complacent can be a drain on self-esteem. Almost everyone is guilty of not taking a look around and being grateful for how much we really do have.
I’ve been fortunate enough to visit countries and stayed in communities that are incredibly poor and don’t always know where their next meal is coming from.
I say ‘fortunate’ because it was a huge eye-opener for me and serves as a reminder that I have a lot to be grateful for and expecet nothing.
6. What Are the Things That Motivate You?
Write down 5 of the things that motivate you to improve in both your personal and professional life. Then note down how many of these factors are present in your life right now.
If these motivating factors aren’t present, you need to do something about it. We all need real, tangible, obtainable, motivating factors to give us that extra push.
No one said it’s someone else’s responsibility to motivate you, right? So take a good look at your answers to this one and come up with some solutions.
6. What Do You Want to Achieve This Year (And How You’ll Achieve Them)
If you haven’t already listed some goals you want to achieve this year now is the perfect time to do so.
We all get stuck in a rut from time-to-time, but those who keep making progressive goals make much faster progress and have higher confidence and self-esteem.
So, set out some goals that are going to make a positive difference to your life, and the steps you need to take to achieve them.
Having obtainable goals and hitting them will give you a huge self-esteem boost.
Some of the Benefits of Building High Self-Esteem
You also need to have an eye on the goal when carrying out exercises like answering the coaching questions above.
What are you trying to improve or achieve by raising your own self-esteem? Do you know?
Here are some of the benefits that go hand-in-hand with high self-esteem:
You’ll Be More Confident – Self-esteem and confidence are closely linked. When you are able to see your own qualities and strengths you’ll be more confident because you’ll see ways you can use your strengths to get where you want to be.
You’ll Be Happier – OK, this isn’t a definite guarantee, happiness never is. But it’s very likely you’ll be much happier as you’ll now be in tune with all the positive value you possess and be more aware of all the things going well in your life.
You’ll Get More out of Social Situations – Being more confident in social situations means you can put your self-doubt behind you and work on networking, relationships with friends and family, and enjoy social events.
You’ll Be More Successful – I can’t put a number or a word on how successful, that part is up to you. But you’ll have more tools and ways you can achieve your business and personal goals so success is going to come naturally.
You’ll Be Healthier – The effects of boosting your self-esteem aren’t limited to your mental wellbeing, there are also some physical benefits. In a more confident and positive state-of-mind, you’re much more likely to look after yourself and you’ll have more natural energy to burn.
These are some of the typical self-esteem coaching questions a self-esteem or personal development coach would ask someone, so hopefully it’s given you some insight without having to pay for a session.
If your answers to these questions have raised even more questions then it might be a good idea to book a session with a coach for further insight.
I do hope this post has been some help however. You’re doing all the right things by identifying the reasons why you have low self-esteem and doing something about it.
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.