Deadbeat dads typically get away with avoiding their parental responsibilities because they aren’t made to feel like the irresponsible, screw ups that they are.
One way to try and shock a deadbeat dad into stepping up, or at least paying more child support is to expose them for what they really are.
Showing their friends and family how they’re behaving often makes a deadbeat dad ashamed and is the kick they need to at least try and change.
Here are some tips and the best ways how to expose a deadbeat dad:
How to Expose a Deadbeat Dad – 10 Ways!
1. Out Them on Social Media
Social media is the easiest and most public way to shame a deadbeat dad these days.
In fact, there are loads of groups online designed for exactly this purpose!
Just be sure not to slander someone or give out personal details that could end up escalating the situation too far.
Keep your emotions in check and do it the right way.
Just state what they’ve been doing and what proof you have and use it as a way to apply some pressure on them, not bully them or make them feel bad.
2. Tell a Local News Outlet
This is a more old-school way of doing things but it can still be effective, especially if the deadbeat dad is breaking a lot of laws and causing you some distress.
Local news outlets love stories like this as they make the person look bad and usually, the public will rally behind you.
3. Start a Blog
If you want to retain full control over what you’re posting online you could consider starting your own blog.
This way you can post whatever you want, in whatever tone you feel is necessary to get your point across.
You could also use this platform to build a community of other parents in your situation and offer support to one another.
Who knows, it could become a side hustle or a place where other women are able to get the support they desperately need.
4. Tell Their Family and Friends
This is never an easy thing to do, but it can be effective.
If the deadbeat dad has family or friends that are close to him, you could try contacting them and letting them know what’s going on.
They might be able to talk some sense into him or, at the very least, put a little pressure on him to start acting right.
Often, deadbeat dads are ashamed or embarrassed by their actions and hide it from those closest to them.
You just need to approach this sensitively as you don’t want to cause any unnecessary drama.
5. Arrange an Intervention
If you have a good relationship with the deadbeat dad’s family, you could arrange an intervention of sorts.
Get everyone together in a room and let them know how he’s been behaving and the effect it’s having on you and the children.
Again, this needs to be done in a non-confrontational way as you want them to be on your side.
You could even invite a therapist to talk to them while they have their attention, but this can easily backfire if the deadbeat dad feels trapped.
6. Report Them for Missing Child Support Payments
If the deadbeat dad is supposed to be paying you child support but isn’t, you can report them to the proper authorities.
There are usually state-level agencies that will help you track down a deadbeat dad and get the payments that you’re owed.
This is a way to confront and expose a deadbeat dad while also (hopefully) making him step up and accept at least some of his responsibilities.
7. Confront Them in Front of Their Friends
Telling their friends how they’re avoiding manning up and taking their parental responsibilities is one thing, doing it in front of them is another!
This will be an uncomfortable experience for the deadbeat dad but it can be effective in getting him to change his ways.
Just make sure that you’re calm and collected when you do it, as you don’t want to come across as crazy or unstable.
At the very least it’s going to expose him to his friends and that’s a good start.
8. Stop Accepting Their Excuses
If you’ve been putting up with your deadbeat dad’s excuses and behavior, it needs to stop.
Not just for yourself, but also as a way of letting them know that you know what they’re doing and you’re not going to keep accepting it.
This is tough to do as it may mean distancing yourself or setting strict boundaries, but sometimes it’s necessary to get through to someone.
9. Call a Crisis Talk with Them
This is a more serious step to take but it can be effective if you’re at your wit’s end.
I’m sure you’ve spoken to your deadbeat dad to the point where you feel like you’re banging your head into a brick wall.
But have you had a crisis talk?
A crisis talk is basically where you lay everything out on the table and tell them how their actions are affecting you and what needs to happen for things to change.
It’s a last-ditch effort to get through to them but it can work if you do it right.
10. Keep Proof of Everything They’re Doing
Throughout this process or exposing a deadbeat dad, you’re going to want to keep track of everything that’s going on.
This means saving any text messages, emails, or social media posts that they make.
You should also keep a journal of any interactions you have with them, both good and bad.
Evidence is everything if you’re going to call them out and try to expose them, as I’m sure they’ll try and deny what you’re saying!
Related – 10 Steps for dealing with a deadbeat dad!
Why Should You Expose a Deadbeat Dad?
There are a few reasons why you might want to expose a deadbeat dad.
Firstly, it can help you to deal with the situation and relieve some of the frustration you’re feeling.
Getting everything out in the open can be therapeutic and help you to process what’s happened.
Most importantly, it can also make the deadbeat dad realize the error of their ways and hopefully make them change their behavior.
Of course, this isn’t always the case but it’s worth a shot!
Will It Make a Deadbeat Dad Change?
This is the million-dollar question and unfortunately, there’s no easy answer.
If you’re hoping that exposing a deadbeat dad will make them change their ways then you might be disappointed.
I think it’s fair to say that you should at least be prepared for the fact that they might not change.
However, it’s worth a try as you never know what might happen.
The main thing is to make sure that you’re doing it for the right reasons and not just to try and get revenge.
Image credits – depositphotos.com/stock-photo-playful-crazy-man-dad-riding
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.