If someone has made it clear they’re out to destroy you, you have some problems on your hands.
I’m not here to judge or dig into the reasons why they feel like this, but I am going to offer you some advice that will hopefully help you protect yourself!
Here is an explanation of how to deal with someone who wants to destroy you with 10 actionable steps:
How to Deal With Someone Who Wants to Destroy You: 10 Tips!
1. Don’t Meet Them Head On
When someone is out to destroy you, it’s normal to want to fight or meet them head-on and not be pushed over.
However, this is often exactly what they want you to do.
If you can, try and take a step back from the situation and assess what’s going on.
Meeting them head-on is only going to escalate the issue and potentially end in an explosive way.
Related – Signs of insecure coworkers to look out for!
2. Set Some Boundaries
Learning how to set and stick to boundaries is an essential skill when dealing with anyone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart.
It’s important that you make it clear to them what behavior is and isn’t acceptable.
If they continue to cross your boundaries, then you need to take action and distance yourself from them.
This isn’t always possible with someone who is being sneaky and not engaging with you, but it’s something to keep in mind.
3. Don’t Be Afraid to Stand up For Yourself
This is easier said than done, but the number one way to deal with bullies is to stand up to them and not let them push you around.
This doesn’t mean you have to get into a fight with them, far from it, it means you need to be assertive and not let them control you with their words or actions.
When someone wants to destroy you, believe it or not, the last thing they want is for you to tell or show them that you’re not going to be a pushover.
4. Ignore Them if You Have To
One of the best ways to diffuse a hostile situation is often to simply ignore it and not give the person the attention they’re looking for.
Of course, this isn’t always possible but if you can, try your best to walk away or not engage with them.
The more you react, the more they’re going to want to do it, so try and be the bigger person in the situation.
5. Lean on Your Support Network for Advice
If someone has made you a target it’s easy to feel like you’re alone and that no one understands what you’re going through.
It doesn’t have to be this way though, and it shouldn’t be something you go through alone.
Talk to your friends and family, or even a professional if you’re struggling to cope with the situation.
Sometimes a little impartial advice or just having someone to talk to can make a huge difference.
6. Don’t Take It Personally
Again, this is easier said than done, but try and remember that this person’s actions are a reflection of them and not you.
No matter what you’ve done – if anything – that may have triggered their desire to destroy you, it’s not your fault.
You didn’t deserve this, and no one should be treated like this.
It sounds like the person who is after you has some issues with low self-esteem, are insecure, and this is something they need to work on, not you.
7. Show Kindness Rather than Anger
This is a stance I always like to take when someone is trying to be difficult toward me, and it’s always worked well for me.
If someone is trying to make your life difficult, rather than get angry with them or fight them, try and be kind instead.
They may be too hostile for you to actually be nice to them, but by simply reacting to them in a polite, and calm manner you’re likely to diffuse their anger and will not be giving them the reaction they crave.
8. Practice Self-Care
This is something you should be doing anyway, but it’s even more important when you’re dealing with a difficult situation.
Make sure you take the time for yourself, do things you enjoy, and relax as much as possible.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in what’s going on and forget about taking care of yourself, but it’s important to remember that you need to take care of yourself first and foremost.
You might not be able to control or change this person’s actions, but you can control how you’re feeling and dealing with it.
9. Don’t React to Provocation or Baiting
This is one of the hardest things to do, but if you can manage it, it’s often the best course of action.
The person who wants to destroy you will be looking for ways to provoke or bait you into reacting, so you need to be aware of this and not take the bait.
If you can, try and remain calm and avoid getting drawn into their games.
10. Turn This Negative Into a Positive
This might be the most important tip of all.
No matter how difficult the situation is, or how badly this person is treating you, if you can turn this negative into a positive it’s a win.
We can all learn from difficult situations, and this is no different.
Use this as an opportunity to grow and learn about yourself, and to become a better person.
Don’t let whatever this person does to you leave a mark, use it to make you stronger.
Related – Tips for dealing with lazy coworkers and people who won’t pull their weight!
What Does It Mean When Someone Destroys You?
When someone says they want to destroy you, these are pretty strong words and mean they really have it out for you.
Usually, when someone says they want to destroy someone it means they’re trying to harm you emotionally or mentally and make your life as difficult as possible.
This can be done in a number of ways, such as spreading rumors about you, trying to make you look bad in front of other people, or being rude and horrible to you.
I hope they don’t cross the line and start to get physical or do things that harm you, but you can’t rule anything out.
You certainly need to be on your guard, there are few threats stronger than saying you’re going to ‘destroy’ someone!
Why Do Some People Want to Destroy Others?
There can be any number of reasons why someone would want to destroy another person and I can’t speak on your personal situation.
Generally speaking, it’s usually because they’re jealous of you, or they think you’ve done something to wrong them in some way.
It’s also possible they simply enjoy making other people’s lives difficult, and you’re an easy target.
Some people are just bullies, but again this usually means that they’re dealing with issues of being insecure or having low self-esteem.
Whatever the reason may be, it’s important to remember that it’s not about you and has nothing to do with you as a person.
The best thing you can do is try and rise above it and not let them get to you.
If they’re crossing any lines legally or within your place of work, you’ll need to pursue the correct channels such as reporting them to the police or your HR department.
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Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.