How People Pleasers Make It more Difficult On themselves to Be Successful

How People Pleasers Make It more Difficult On themselves to Be Successful

I have to put myself in the bracket of people pleasers. Sure, I used to be a lot worse than I am now, I have made huge strides and adjusting this aspect of my life. But I am definitely a born people pleaser, it makes me feel good.

It’s caused me a fair share of problems over the years. Anyone else reading this who know they are people pleasers understand and probably know what I’m going to say.

It’s damaged relationships, being too nice and forgiving all the time causes problems. Trying to please several people all with conflicting interests and needs is also an impossible task. You can’t make everyone happy, and coming to accept this is a huge part of understanding how you can handle situations better.

When I addressed why I was always trying to please everyone, and the problems that arise from this, I started to realize a few things. Most noticeably, I was smothering a lot of opportunities for me flourish as me.

Running around after others was holding me back, and I started to discuss this with other people. One of the biggest drawbacks to being a people pleaser is that you make it more difficult to be successful. Largely because you’re not thinking about you first and foremost, but this is something I will dig into deeper in this article.

How People Pleasers Make It more Difficult On themselves to Be Successful

They Spend Too Much Energy on Others

You’re not going to be more successful unless you’re putting in the effort to develop yourself. Trying to please everyone else is going to use up valuable energy you could be using for this.

We all need time for ourselves. Whether you choose to just relax, recharge, study, it doesn’t matter. Spending time alone we learn more about who we are and what motivates us. Take the time to know yourself better.

They Lose Sight of What’s Important

The lines of what is and isn’t can get crossed when you’re in the mindset to agree to everything just to make someone happy. If you have something important to do after work and your boss asks you to stay late, what will you say?

If you know you will just say yes, you are a people pleaser and are sacrificing your own happiness. Think about why you feel the need to say yes, and weigh up the pros and cons to doing so. What really is most important in this situation?

They Usually Have Lower Self-Esteem and Confidence

Lack of confidence and self-esteem is a success and motivation killer. I’ve had my own battles with confidence over the years, as many of you reading this will have. There is nothing to be ashamed of, it’s something I was able to overcome and you can too.

People pleasers are usually pleasing others to receive that praise that they are doing a good job, and being helpful. But we should be able to operate independently without needing that reassurance. Putting yourself first will help you build that confidence, without the need for reassurance.

They Fear Not Feeling Important

This is tied in with having low self-esteem. Pleasing others gives us a great sense of importance. It’s a great feeling when others are relying on you and happy with what you’re doing, but it’s an invisible cord that needs to be cut.

You need to realize that you are important, regardless of how many others are relying on you, telling you so, or needing you to help them. Start saying no to people, feel the feeling that gives you. It’s a great feeling, and it doesn’t make you any less important. Quite the opposite, you’re still needed, you just don’t have to say ‘yes’ to everything.

They Agree to Things They Aren’t Happy About

Agreeing to things you aren’t happy about or do not want to do it is a horrible feeling. Yet so many of us keep doing so, why? Do you find yourself in these situations? Such as lending large amounts of money to friends, giving up your time for no reward. Helping others who wouldn’t do the same back. These are all losses.

It’s time to stand strong to your values and put a higher value on yourself. Be confident that you are worth more, and act like it. If someone asks you to do something you’re not confident with, don’t do it. Simple. If it takes a deep breathe and you feel bad, that’s fine. Remember, value yourself.

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