Here’s a question for you…
Do you consider yourself to be an unhappy person?
I certainly don’t, although I have had some unhappy times like everyone.
Being unhappy can most of the time be tied back to a persons way of thinking. A large part of it is the habits and methods people have.
I have worked with a lot of unhappy people over the years. There was often a connection in the root causes when I questioned people about the way they think.
Understanding these habits is something that has helped me a great deal. Not only can I help others identify some of their behaviors that are making them unhappy. But I am also able to be a lot happier in myself.
Trying to Be Perfect
Peoples obsession with being perfect is often a root cause of unhappiness. Not everything has to be perfect, and more so everything cannot be perfect. Why are you chasing perfection? To keep up with the neighbors, to impress someone, sibling rivalry?
You need to find happiness with your current situation, without longing for perfection. Accept your current situation as it is. I bet it’s not that bad if you stop and think about it. We all have a lot to be grateful for, we don’t need this elusive ‘perfection’.
Being Surrounded by Negative Influences
This is a major factor in a lot of people unhappiness. It’s a vicious circle too. Once you are surrounded by negative people it’s hard not to be negative yourself. Further more it’s very hard to break away from it.
Whether it’s at work, at home, or when you’re with friends. If you are surrounded by negative people it will chip away at you. You will have a more negative view on things, the opposite to what you need to be happy.
Being Held Back by the Past
If something has happened in the past and you’re still holding on to it, it’s holding on to you. It’s always disapproving to see someone being held back by a past event, no matter how devastating it was to their lives.
You need to learn how to move forward. Being unhappy and mentally caught up by a past event will have a serious impact on your mental and physical health, You need to speak to someone professional or close to you to work through these problems.
Comparing Yourself to Others
A very common and destructive habit is comparing yourself to others. Especially if you are caught up with comparing material possessions to other people. You will just end up denting your self-esteem, without knowing much about their circumstances.
Sometimes people put on a brave front. Buying nice new things and having the latest cars and technology. Behind the scenes things are not always as rosy as they seem. So never just assume people have it better than you do. Instead focus your own life, be positive, and you will be much happier.
Focusing on the Negative Points
When faced with a negative situation you have two choices. Dwell on the negative point and assume the worst may happen. It look for the positive in the situation and take a positive mindset.
To be more positive and happier, you need to be able to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. People who get hung up on the smaller details really block themselves from being truly happy.
There is always a silver-lining, so look for it. Being positive will enhance your life in so many ways. Good things will happen, and you will become a lot happier.
Over Complicating Decisions and Situations
Some people are just great at making the simplest decisions incredibly complicated. I’m sure we all know at least one person like this. They tend to be indecisive, live among clutter and chaos, and are inherently unhappy deep down.
If this happens to be you, do something about it. You can take control yourself and organize your life. Start by decluttering your living space, this has a positive effect on decluttering your mind.
Then work on simplifying decisions. Be more mindful about what decisions you make. Ask yourself, “is this the easiest option?”, or “do I really need to do this in order to meet the end goal?”
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.