Do you have a clear picture of where your life is heading?
Do you enjoy your life and live every day to the fullest?
Don’t worry if you said no to either, or both of these questions.
I think we all have a moment from time-to-time when we feel like things are going on auto-pilot. We finish school, graduate, then enter a job that we may or may not feel satisfied with. Next thing you know, you’re waking up and several years have passed … anyone here nodding their heads as they read this?
This suits some people just fine, and I’m not here to say there is anything wrong with the ‘norm’. But some of us however want more, and the feeling of being bored or uninspired weighs heavy. I understand if you are feeling like you are struggling to find your purpose in life, or there is nothing in your path that excites you.
We can find ourselves in this state of mind all of a sudden because we have been unconsciously aware of what we’ve been doing. We have not stopped and thought about where we are right now, and how we can change our paths, and our futures. Because we do have options, and we do have the power to make the changes that will give us a greater sense of purpose.
Most of us daydream, or think about making the changes we desire. We even think of scenarios where it would be possible to make these changes, but fear stops us taking action. We get stuck on wondering how, where, or what to do, so we just let time pass us by.
You’ll never be able to change the direction of your life until you stand up and take control yourself, no one else is going to do it for you. The most difficult step is the first, the second most difficult is the second, and so on. Once you start making changes, you will find yourself filling with confidence, new ideas, and the enthusiasm you need to make it all happen.
A good habit to have is to think about “why” you are doing what you currently are. “Why” you want to make changes, and how you’re going to make is happen. If you can’t be honest with yourself when asking questions, who can you be honest with?
Without clear answers to these questions you will be stuck feeling you have no purpose in life, an unfulfilling and demotivating place to be. However, when you can answer these questions positively you’ll feel like you have a purpose, a reason, and goals. A truly satisfying and exciting state of mind to be in, and a much more fulfilling and interesting future will await you.
Some Questions to Ask Yourself
- Why did you choose your current career, or did it choose you?
- Why are you living where you currently are?
- Why do you spend time with family and friends?
- Why are you together with your current partner?
- Why do you have the hobbies and habits that you do?
- Why do you spend your money on the things you do?
- Why are you living your current lifestyle?
If you cannot answer these questions, or you’re not satisfied with your answers when you hear you answers out loud – now is the time to define your life’s purpose. Adopt a new mindset that will address what you’re not happy with about your answers and start on a journey of personal development and growth.
I know exactly what you’re thinking, “how do I start on a new journey to find my life purpose?” Don’t worry, I’ve been there myself, there is no short answer or quick fix, but then that’s why it’s not happening on it’s own, isn’t it? I will explain further throughout this article everything I did to find a true purpose to my life, and everything you need to do to find yours.
You will be able to tell a lot about your personality from your answers to the “why” questions above. For some people, doing that exercise gives them an insight into their personality, values, dreams, integrity, and self-awareness that they didn’t have before.
So why is this important, and how is it going to help you discover your purpose in life? Well, without looking deep into ourselves for a purpose and asking ourselves questions, we will never face up to making the life changes we desire.
The most difficult part is figuring out where to start, and taking that first step. So start by finding the largest area of your life that is the least fulfilling. Look at which question above made you feel the most uncomfortable, or maybe you couldn’t even answer the question. The most common place to start for most people is with their careers, this is where 70% of people surveyed in 2012 across the US recently said they were unfulfilled.
To help you understand why you’re working in your chosen career, think about these questions and how you would answer them:
More Questions to Ask Yourself
- What aptitudes and skills do you enjoy that you wish you could utilize in your career?
- What personal values would you like to reflect in your career?
- What aspects of your personality would you like to develop in your career?
- What dreams have you wanted to pursue over the years that you would love to see in your career path?
- What work or person currently inspires you?
- What kind of work aligns with your personal ethics and integrity?
- What mark would you be proud of making on the world?
- What career would make you happy to get out of bed every morning?
- What is your ideal career position that you would snap up in a heartbeat?
You should be starting to realize that asking yourself questions is an effective way to get the answers you thought you didn’t have. You can easily apply this to other areas in your life too, like your relationships with people:
More Questions to Ask Yourself
- Do my relationships with those close to me reflect my personal values?
- Does our relationship serve as a positive model to other people?
- What common goals do we have?
- What do we both offer each other and do we feel appreciated?
- How can we make a difference to others around us, our community, and our families?
As you start to confront these questions and answers, you will become more conscious. It’s all too easy to just float along unconsciously, but once you start thinking consciously you will have a profound and life changing feeling come over you. You will no longer feel satisfied allowing life to pass you by, you’ll start making the changes you desire.
By answering these questions you will also realize that change is necessary, and taking action is necessary. Sometimes this means staring fear in the face and making some painful choices, like breaking off a relationship, leaving your job, disconnecting with friends, etc. But the pain is short-term, and as you define your purpose and start working towards it you will feel reborn.
Through self-questioning you may find areas of your life that you have been living unconsciously that comes as a surprise to you. Start to make changes to these areas slowly, don’t feel like you need to try and tackle everything at once. A new found sense of purpose is an exciting revelation, but take things slowly and work methodically.
If you’re looking to find passion and a sense of achievement in your career, start by taking small steps in that direction. Enroll for courses that excite you, network with people in that profession, do some research, it’s all steps towards entering a new profession.
If you want to make a change in your relationship, start to communicate openly with your partner. Don’t be afraid to look into counselling if you both agree. By working on your relationship problems together you’ll be taking steps in the right direction.
If you are unhappy with your current lifestyle, start creating new habits and making better choices. Get out of the rut you find yourself in, exercise, make new friends, and join some social clubs.
The goal is to reach a clear state of consciousness, finding a purposeful direction in all areas of your life. When you start connecting all the different areas of your life you will feel totally liberated. For me personally, I found ways to link between each area of my life I was working on. For you it may all come together differently.
But please remember, don’t keep putting this off until tomorrow. Start making conscious decisions today and enjoy the benefits of feeling more in control, having a purpose in life, and living each day.
I wish you all luck and happiness, and if you’re struggling to find your purpose in life I hope these exercises help shed some light. If there is anything I can do to help, or if you have any questions about anything written here please leave a comment and I will be sure to respond.
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.
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