Does your family never contact you?
Are you always the one to reach out first, and even then it feels like you’re bothering them?
Family is supposed to be there for each other, through thick and thin, the good times and the bad.
Even if you have friends, if you can’t rely on your family it makes you feel alone and like no one really understands you.
Here are some reasons that might help explain why your family never contacts you and what you can do about it:
My Family Never Contacts Me! (10 Common Reasons to Explain Why)
1. They Just Aren’t the Chatty Type
This sounds a little crazy, but I’ve seen this exact reason play out in front of me with one of my good friends.
He’s constantly upset about his parents not calling him, but there’s nothing more going on other than they just aren’t good at communicating.
Sure, they’ve always been like this, but he didn’t notice it so much when he lived under the same roof as his parents.
When it comes to picking up the phone, texting, or sending him an email, they simply don’t ever initiate contact.
Yet, when he contacts them they’re more than happy to hear from him!
Related – How to deal with your family if they only call when they need something.
2. There Are Some Unresolved Issues
Sometimes, even if we don’t fully recognize it, there are some unresolved issues that cause a rift between certain family members.
It may be due to an argument or disagreement that you were aware of but you thought was resolved.
Or it could be due to some kind of issue that you have no idea about and never discussed.
This could be a reason why your family isn’t reaching out to you even if you’ve reached out to them first.
3. They Don’t Care About You
This is a hard reason to accept, but it’s also something I’ve seen on more than one occasion.
It’s just a fact of life that not everyone in our family tree will love us and want to stay connected.
Perhaps the family members you don’t hear from are busy and wrapped up in their own lives, or they just don’t care enough to reach out to you.
If that’s the case, then all you can do is move on and focus on those who do care about you.
4. They’re Dealing with Some of Their Own Issues
We all go through difficult times in life and sometimes it can be so consuming that we don’t think about reaching out to those around us.
If your family members never contact you, maybe there is more going on in the background than they let on when you reach out to them.
5. You’ve Done Something to Offend Them
Much like having some lingering unresolved issues, it’s possible you have done or said something that has discouraged them from reaching out to you.
This could be anything from a disagreement you had that they took harder than you, to simply disagreeing with your political or moral views and not wanting to talk about it.
6. They’re Always Waiting for You to Contact Them
It’s possible that your family is simply always waiting for you to contact them first.
Maybe they don’t want to bother you, or maybe they think you’re too busy for them.
Whatever the case, if you feel like they aren’t initiating contact with you, try reaching out to them first and tell them you’d love to hear from them from time to time.
7. You’ve Drifted Apart
This almost sounds odd to say, as drifting apart is something that happens between friends, not family.
Family members are supposed to be connected on a deeper level, even if we don’t talk as often.
However, if your family doesn’t contact you as often anymore, it could be that they feel like you’re drifting apart.
8. They Lack the Skills to Work Through Conflict
We all know that things don’t always go smoothly between family members, but some people lack the skills to work through conflict and instead just ignore it.
If this is the case with your family, it could be why you don’t hear from certain relatives.
It’s always a shame when I hear someone has fallen out with a family member and they can’t find a way to mend that bridge.
9. There’s Been a Misunderstanding
It’s possible that a misunderstanding between you and your family has caused them to stop reaching out.
Maybe they thought something you said or did was offensive, or they think you’re too busy for them.
Either way, it’s important to clear up any misunderstandings and make sure you are on the same page and let them know how you feel.
10. Someone Is Influencing Them
You can’t rule out that someone else is involved and is behind your family members not contacting you.
Maybe your brother has a new partner, your parents are involved in a new group, there are any number of possible influences that can be at play.
It’s important to try and identify any source of influence that might be controlling your family members and restricting their communication with you.
Related – Tips for setting boundaries with in-laws and family members.
What to Do if Your Family Never Contacts You
If you find yourself in a situation where certain family members never contact you, it’s important to remember that there are many possible reasons why you don’t hear from them.
It’s important to take the time to reflect on the situation and try to determine what the root cause is.
Sometimes it just comes down to timing or logistics, while at other times it might be more complex issues that are at play.
Try to reach out first and if you don’t hear back, for the sake of your own mental health it might be best to focus your energy on those family members who do care about you.
Something you have to keep in mind is that the only way you’re going to resolve this, if it’s possible, is through communication.
It’s not an easy conversation to have and you’re going to have to take the lead, but if you want to improve the relationship you have with family members you’re going to have to confront this and tell them how it makes you feel.
It’s then over to them to decide whether they want to take the next steps to mend things.
Image credits – depositphotos.com/stock-photo-touristic
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.