ESFJ and INTJ Compatibility

Understanding ESFJ and INTJ compatibility can go a long way to explaining, or helping you understand how well two people can get along. I covered the Myers-Briggs compatibility test and what the results mean previously. You should find out what your personality type is if you don’t already know, it’s an interesting and helpful exercise.

In this article I’m going to look at how compatible these two personality types are when it comes to relationships and friendship. There are certain strengths and weaknesses then when combined can make for some interesting results.

ESFJ and INTJ are abbreviations for:

ESFJ – Extraversion (E), Sensing (S), Feeling (F), Judgment (J)

INTJ – Introversion (I), Intuition (N), Thinking (T), Judgment (J)

You can see at a glance there are some similarities, and some contrasts between these two personality types. Let’s have a look at how these work in relationships.

ESFJ and INTJ Compatibility

Extraversion vs Introversion

The Good Points:

These two characteristics bring two people together. Extraverts enjoy the calm and reliable characteristics of an introvert. While the introvert can enjoy living vicariously through the other person.

Extraverts are able to be a supportive help to the introvert. Often being the one to increase their circle of friends and handle a lot of the social interactions.

The Bad Points:

Sometimes an extreme introvert can be too quiet and lack the energy an extravert needs to bounce off. They can be misunderstood through not communicating well and it can cause issues.

It can be difficult for these two personality types to agree on what they want to do for recreational and social activity. Often wanting different things and the need for both to compromise.

Sensing vs Intuition

The Good Points:

Sensing means the person is interested in all types of things. They like to imagine, create, and look at the bigger picture. They have a great deal of common sense and can bring this to the other person acting on intuition.

Intuitive people generally enjoy the caring and helpful side of the sensor. Both parties are caring and will go out of their way to help each other.

The Bad Points:

The biggest problem is usually communication and common ground, key issues in any relationship. The intuitive side of the relationship will enjoy daydreaming and being creative. While the sensing half are much more into the moment.

Sensors can get easily frustrated when things aren’t going their way. While intuitive individuals are able to take a step back and think things through. Sometimes to a fault over-thinking.

Feeling vs Thinking

The Good Points:

Feelers are emotional and compassionate to others. Endearing characteristics in a relationship and these qualities are welcomed by the thinker who will appreciate them.

These two personality types really complement each other well on these aspects. The thinking person will come up with in-depth ideas, while the feeler will put a real spin on them and help put the ideas into practice.

The Bad Points:

Feelers are prone to being offended by the actions of thinkers. Thinkers can speak their minds and be a little blunt, while this can get under the skin of someone who feels everything. A feeler will need to be reminded not to take things personally.

Thinkers are not as emotionally comfortable. This can cause intimacy issues, and will require some time and communication to meet somewhere in the middle. Feeling like they are putting more into the relationship than they are receiving is a common complaint.

Judgment vs Judgment

The Good Points:

This is where both of the personality types overlap. Both types are organised and tidy, and will result in an organised lifestyle and home. They work well together scheduling and making plans, important aspects of any relationship.

This also makes for good budgeting and financial stability. Having a shared interest in being prepared and having affairs in order.

The Bad Points:

With two organized individuals comes the potential for disagreements. Both personality types like to have their spaces in order. Which will not always be the same vision as the other persons, and can cause some intense arguments.

Both are quick to come to conclusions and make decisions. Both parties will not be in agreement every time and this is another area where arguments can happen.

INTJ and ESFJ Love and Friendship

You can conclude from the above that these two personality types come together to make an interesting combination. There are more compatible characteristics than there are negative ones and most relationships are going to work out.

On paper, I think INTJ female ESFJ male is the best combination. Bring together the strengths of the male in the relationship role, and the strengths of the female. Obviously, it’s incredibly difficult to make a conclusive judgement on paper. There are a lot of dynamics that go into every relationship and every individual.