Most of us want to be likable.
There are few people that don’t want others to like them, and those that do have some issues that we won’t dig in to here.
We all like having friends, being liked by others, and enjoy being around positive people. Because all these things are linked. Liking someone gives you a feeling of happiness, and getting to know someone is always interesting and fun.
But some people naturally have barriers that are hard to get past. It’s not always intentional, but people make it hard to like them. Setting up barriers to work though, or dealing with personality traits that are confusing can turn people away.
So can we consciously make some changes to increase how likable we are to others? Sure we can.
I’m not talking about any underhand sneaky tactics here. Just by allowing their qualities to shine will be enough for most people to be more liked by their peers.
Here are a few simple things I recommend if you want to be more likable:
It’s the easiest thing in the world to do. People with a smile on their face are approachable and easier to talk to. You probably know what it’s like to see someone with a smile on their face, you have to wonder what they are so happy about.
Happiness comes from the inside. And smiling shows this on the outside. So next time someone catches you eye, make sure you give them a smile.
Be Positive and Optimistic
This is a mind-set choice and while it goes way beyond just being likable, it makes up a big part of being likable. I always assume the best outcome will happen, and never disappointed when it doesn’t.
Try not to get wrapped up in rumors and gossip. This will only drag you into a hole and promote negative thinking.
Always Be Trustworthy
It takes a while to be seen as trustworthy. Be someone who holds true to their word at all times, never slip up. People like others who they know they can unconditionally trust.
This doesn’t mean you can let people down if you absolutely have to. Just be up-front and honest about everything.
Show You’re Interested in Other People
If you want to be liked by others it starts with liking others too. This means showing a genuine interest in how they are doing and what interests them.
Always make a note of peoples names and use their name when talking to them. Find out what they are interested in and learn a bit about those topics so you have some common ground to talk about.
Be Considerate to Others
Don’t worry if this doesn’t come as second nature right now, you can consciously work at being more considerate of others. Be mindful of other’s feelings and beliefs, and don’t step on their toes.
It’s the little things that make the biggest impact too. Making someone a drink without being asked, opening a door for them, small considerate actions that go a long way.
Show Your Interesting Side
We all have an interesting side. You just need to pick and choose what you talk about to other people. Learn how to read how interested people are by looking at their body language.
Step outside of your comfort zone and show everyone you can take risks or do something unexpected too. You will find a new circle of friends and expand your own horizons.
Learn How to Be Less Stressed
People don’t want to be around someone who is stressed and showing the signs of being angry, wound up and erratic. Stress is also contagious and will affect others.
It’s easier said than done in some instances. But learn how to relax and detach from work. Finding a good balance between work and life is important.
Be Generous to Others
Before you say you’re too busy have a think about this – could you volunteer an hour a week to help a charity? Could you spare a few bucks a month to donate to a charity?
I bet the answer to both questions was, ‘yes’. So why not do it. Or apply this directly to people around you. Invite a friend out for a drink once a week, or offer to help someone in need.
Always Be Reliable
Being let down really hurts. So keeping in mind all the above points, being reliable and caring about someone else feelings is an obvious one. If you make a promise or commit to do something, no matter if it was a spur of the moment decision. Stick to it.
It’s very hard to regain trust in reliability once you let someone down once and it will damage that likability factor. Don’t let it happen.
Confident people are likable. There is a thin line to tread between coming across as arrogant and cocky and just confident. But being confident for all the right reasons is a very attractive quality.
You always have a reason to be confident, you don’t need to front it. Look at what you are good at and give yourself credit. Confidence is contagious and you will lift up those around you.
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.